


Sweet As (Cherry Wine)

by Auber_Gine_Dreams



Series: vin de cerise [2]
Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alpha posturing, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fist Fights, Friends to Lovers, Knot kink, M/M, Marking, Miscommunication, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Rough Sex, Sort Of, Very Lightly Frat boys, i've added a new cursed tag to my collection, mentions of other relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-11 20:30:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21227912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auber_Gine_Dreams/pseuds/Auber_Gine_Dreams
Summary: Everything has always been so easy between them. Changgu moved across the street from Hongseok when he was six years old. They’ve been best friends since the day they met, when Hongseok invited him over to play football in his back yard. They played on the basketball team together since middle school. It’s like Hongseok is Changgu’s other half, like they’ve known each other for a thousand years.They both took it for granted. That everything would work out like a fairy tale.--Or--Sometimes love is easy. Sometimes love is hard. Changgu experiences love in every form with Hongseok.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deadlylampshades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlylampshades/gifts).

> Hongseok and Changgu are kind of amazing in that they're two years apart and have the exact same birth chart, that Hongseok has been all over the world but against all odds he ended up at Cube at the same time as Changgu. Seems an awful lot like soulmates to me :D
> 
> This is all thanks to Ayesha. The way that this AU gripped us for months before I finally said OKAY FINE I'LL WRITE IT. I love you so much I'm ready at any time to shrink into a 10cm pocket girl so you can carry me around with you <33333 Title is from "Cherry Wine" by Hozier.
> 
> There is a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/38GU5RMvA681ULym6KzSVM?si=VWhhBiibToSjSadHlEO2yw) for this fic if you're into that kind of thing!!! Feel free to check it out <3

Changgu sighs. He’s on the third flight of stairs, Hongseok’s arm around his shoulders. Hongseok is somewhere between too drunk to drive and too drunk to remember. He should have known, really, when he started university last year and Hongseok begged him to join the fraternity that this would be the outcome. 

He’s not old enough to drink. Almost. His birthday is so close he can taste it, and he has every intention of getting just as drunk, making Hongseok carry _ him _ up the stairs just like this. It’s only fair. He’s been cleaning up Hongseok’s messes for so long it just comes naturally. 

They make it to his room in one piece, and Changgu drops Hongseok on the bed. He groans and rolls away, back to him like he’s pouting, like he’s mad that Changgu kept him from starting a fight with another Alpha. 

“I’m sorry,” Hongseok says, soft and slurred enough that Changgu almost doesn’t catch it. 

He sighs and sits on the edge of the bed.

“You don’t have to do that, you know. I can take care of myself.”

Hongseok rolls back toward him, blinks like he’s trying to clear his head. His eyes are a little hazy. Changgu wants to ruffle his hair, but he also kind of wants to punch him. Hongseok has always been such a stereotypical Alpha. He’s loud, he’s always in the gym, he picks fights if other Alphas look at him the wrong way. Or if they get a little too flirtatious with Changgu. 

It’s not like anyone has ever taken it too far. Changgu just smiles and says he’s not interested and usually people leave him alone. But Hongseok, well —

“They don’t get to touch you,” Hongseok says, and even as drunk as he is his voice growls out, his scent so strong Changgu feels dizzy. He smells like the forest after it rains, woodsy and earthy with this barely there hint of lavender that Changgu only notices because it’s how Hongseok has smelled since they were kids. 

His hand lands on Changgu’s knee and roams higher, blazing a trail up his thigh. He’s on fire, can literally _ feel _ how hot Hongseok is through his clothes.

“Your birthday is soon,” Hongseok says. Changgu licks his lips and nods.

There are words he should say, but they don’t really need them. When Hongseok presented at sixteen it seemed like the correct sequence of events, like everything was happening just the way it was supposed to. And when Hongseok graduated and Changgu still hadn’t presented it felt like fate. 

“You know,” Changgu starts, finally finding some of the words, “the doctors could be right. What if I’m just a Beta with a weak scent?”

Changgu knows what Hongseok is going to say before he even opens his mouth.

“You’re not. You can’t be.” 

Hongseok’s hand is at the hem of his shirt, fiddling with the fabric. Changgu feels like he might burn alive.

“You’re an idiot,” Changgu answers, can’t keep the fondness off his face or out of his voice. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Hongseok meets his eyes and grins.

“My grandfather used to say that there’s an Omega for every Alpha. Like your other half. Made just for you.”

The sound of it makes Changgu feel a little gross, like he’s covered in cobwebs. He’s not...he doesn’t want it to be that way. There is an implication there, that if Changgu presents as an Omega it’s to complete someone else, that some Alpha is entitled to him.

Changgu slips his hand into Hongseok’s hair because he wants to, because Hongseok’s eyes are so beautiful he can’t bear to look at them anymore. His eyes flutter closed and he sighs, rests his head on Changgu’s thigh. He’s got this big, dumb smile on his face and Changgu’s heart squeezes. It’s infuriating.

“I want to know, but it’s a little scary,” Changgu admits softly. There are no secrets between them, and even though Hongseok is an Alpha he won’t make fun of him for it. “When you want something for so long it makes it harder to give up. I don’t want to lose —”

Hongseok yawns and rubs his face against Changgu’s leg. 

“You won’t,” he says, sitting up and knocking his forehead against Changgu’s shoulder before flopping face first into his pillow.

Hongseok is alseep before he can say what exactly Changgu won’t lose. Changgu wants to tell him about how his gut twinges whenever Hongseok looks at an Omega, how his chest aches with something he can’t even name every time he smells like someone else. 

He walks out the door before he talks himself into staying. His twentieth birthday looms over him like a death shroud, and he can’t shake the feeling that no matter how much either of them want it, he’s not an Omega.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The summer before Changgu starts university Hongseok sneaks him into a night club. The music is _ loud _, people crowd them until Hongseok is pressed into his back. His nose is in the juncture of Changgu’s neck and shoulder, like he’s trying to scent him even though Changgu doesn’t have a scent. His parents took him to a specialist. He should present by twenty, the doctor assures him, and if there’s still nothing, then he’s a Beta. It’s as simple as that, but Changgu hasn’t found the words to tell Hongseok about it, and the way he’s pressed against him, breathing him in like he can’t get enough has Changgu hot all over.

Changgu is eighteen years old and Hongseok leaves him in a corner while he dances with some Omega, presses into her the same way he pressed into him just a few minutes before. His eyes are so dark when he looks up Changgu can’t help but shiver. Hongseok doesn’t really feel like an Alpha to him, but sometimes he is violently reminded of it, like when Hongseok kisses the girl, the peak of his tongue sliding into her mouth sending something Changgu can’t even think about down to his groin. God, he’s so —

And just like that the girl is gone and Hongseok is walking toward him again. 

He presses into Changgu, their faces inches apart and it’s too much too soon. Hongseok is half hard against him and Changgu wonders if Hongseok even realizes it. Friends don’t really...do this. Do they? Maybe he’s just supposed to ignore it, so he does. Hongseok gives him a lopsided smile.

“Sorry. We hooked up a few times last year. I had to go say hello.”

Changgu has to fight not to roll his eyes. It would be quicker to make a list of people Hongseok _ hasn’t _ slept with. He presented and suddenly his dick was god's gift to their city. He never shied away from telling Changgu everything, even when he’d rather not know.

“Omegas are so sexy. They smell so good, _ God_,” Hongseok says, resting the side of his face against Changgu’s, breath hot on his ear. “They feel so good. It’s amazing. You’ll love it. Your Alpha is gonna fuck you so good.”

Hongseok isn’t even drinking tonight. It’s the atmosphere, then, that’s got him pressing tighter into Changgu, until there’s nothing at all between them. It’s not the first time that Hongseok has talked about his experiences, but it is the first time that he’s implied that Changgu could experience them too. 

Like Hongseok could _ be _ his Alpha. Maybe. If he wanted.

“Yeah?” Changgu manages to stutter out, his entire body electric. 

He doesn’t even breathe, so afraid of breaking the moment, of snapping Hongseok out of whatever spell he’s under. Maybe that Omega was in heat. Maybe she scrambled his brain.

Hongseok pulls back and his eyes are pitch black. He’s glancing between Changgu’s eyes and his lips and it’s like everything stops.

“You’ll beg him for it.”

The tension in Changgu’s body has a physical weight. He feels like he’s swallowed mercury, like he’s full of liquid metal. He hears all the things Hongseok isn’t saying clear as day. 

_ I’ll fuck you right. I’ll take care of you. I’ll give you everything you deserve. _

Changgu’s cheeks burn. It’s inevitable. They both know it. Hongseok is an Alpha and Changgu still hasn’t presented. He’ll be an Omega when he turns twenty. He buries his face in Hongseok’s neck and inhales, his breath shuddering out as he fights against the urge to cry. 

It’s what Hongseok has always wanted. Alpha and Omega. Changgu isn’t sure he’s ready to admit what he really wants.

There’s something about staring the future in the face that’s beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

*~*~*~*~*~*

They’re on a break from university the week of Changgu’s birthday. He wakes up the day of in his childhood bedroom, walls still decorated with posters of video game characters and girl groups and the moment he sits up something feels different.

He was sort of expecting that nothing would happen at all, that he would turn twenty and everything would be just the way it’s always been. He’s resigned himself to that fate, made peace with it a while ago. But _ this _ isn’t what he’s expecting at all. 

His Omega friends told him it was almost like heat when they presented, how they went so hot it felt like they were melting, how slick dripped down their thighs in a way that was undeniable. 

It’s not like that. Changgu just feels weird. Something is different, he can sense it. He just doesn’t know what. His parents give him a knowing smile at breakfast. His father pats his shoulder and his mother gives him two servings of meat. He’s not sure why. Are they happy he’s a Beta, following in their footsteps or something?

They both leave for work and he goes back upstairs. It’s when he’s in the shower, water washing away the thick scent of his childhood bedroom, that he realizes what is different. He can smell himself. He has a _ real _ scent.

It doesn’t feel real. He’s definitely presented, can smell the subtle warmth of his skin. 

He thinks back to his dream, of Hongseok in that night club, the way his scent poured into Changgu’s body like it belonged there. He’s alone and really, who can blame him for letting his hand trail down his stomach and wrap around his cock. The water makes the slide smooth. He thinks about Hongseok’s words, about how good it feels to fuck an Omega. 

And Changgu knows. He’s not a virgin. He’s buried his face between an Omega’s legs, fucked inside that wet heat until he was shaking. He works his hand over his cock and it all kind of blurs together. It’s easy to imagine Hongseok fucking him, working him open until he’s begging for it just like he said in the dream. Hongseok murmuring encouragements and filth against his neck. Hongseok’s teeth sinking into his skin when he comes, tying them together in the way only an Alpha can.

Changgu comes, and the fantasy shatters into a million pieces.

He looks down and his cock is in his hand, pulsing with aftershocks. Except now he’s got a knot.

Changgu is an Alpha. 

_ An Alpha_.

When he was eighteen the doctors assured him this wouldn’t happen. Less than one percent chance. Almost impossible.

But he’s twenty now, in the shower of his childhood home, thinking about fucking the only person in his life that means anything at all, and he’s got a knot.

He’s not sure what he’s feeling when he sits down in the shower and lets the hot water beat against his skin. 

The future has always been so certain. Changgu has known how it would go since he was six years old. Alpha, Beta, Omega. It’s never mattered to him, but when Hongseok presented he resigned himself to it. Hongseok is an Alpha and so Changgu would be a Beta, or better yet, an Omega. 

Hongseok used to yell it across their bedroom windows and Changgu knows the story by heart.

“We’ll get married in the summer. We can buy a big house in the country for our dogs!” Hongseok would grin then, cup his tiny hands around his mouth so the sound would travel across what felt like miles between their windows. “We have to get two puppies, Changgu! They can’t be lonely! We can run around outside with them every day! It’ll be so much fun!”

And Changgu remembers how he’d believed every word. Because Hongseok is older and back then he always seemed so much smarter.

But there’s no place for him in this fantasy anymore. Changgu is an Alpha and so is Hongseok. 

The shower goes cold before Changgu has the strength to pick himself up and get out. He dries his hair and tries to imagine the future with someone else, tries to stick some other name into the space left by Yang Hongseok.

He doesn’t leave his bedroom. He throws on a hoodie and sweatpants and he curls up on his bed. His own scent is drowning him, like now that he’s noticed it he can’t smell anything else. 

He loses track of time. His parents come home but they don’t disturb him. He realizes, when he hears their low voices downstairs, that they were so excited because he’s presented as an Alpha. He sees red for a moment, anger quick and hot and he wants to run downstairs and scream at them. Being an Alpha stopped being his future when he was fourteen, when Hongseok barged into his room and proudly exclaimed he’d presented. 

He hears his window rattle and slide open. Hongseok is climbing in like they’re kids again, like he’s sneaking over to show off his newest action figure. He feels fondness flood him before he remembers how everything is different now. 

Hongseok is half way in his room when he whips his head toward Changgu, his eyes wide. 

“Did you have someone over?” he asks, voice toneless as he hoists himself fully into the room. He leaves the window open.

Hongseok walks closer, hesitates for a moment before sitting down on the bed.

It’s like a strange parallel of a few weeks ago, when Changgu was putting Hongseok to bed and Hongseok was promising that nothing would ever change between them.

“You...didn’t, did you?” Hongseok’s breath catches on the question, and Changgu feels strangely happy about it.

It’s not fair if he’s the only one affected by this.

Changgu takes a deep breath and shakes his head. He meets Hongseok’s eyes before looking down at the sheets, lip caught between his teeth. 

Hongseok comes closer, leans in and inhales close to his neck. Changgu’s whole body explodes in heat, breath shuddering when he meets Hongseok’s eyes. He can still feel it, the tension that’s always been there, simmering between them like the haze on a summer street. 

Changgu is an Alpha but he still wants to bury his face in Hongseok’s neck, still wants Hongseok to kiss him, to wrap his hand around his cock, to fuck him until he can’t think about anything else.

Hongseok laughs, a small, hollow sound.

“You still smell the same, even with the Alpha scent. Even when we were kids, you had this kind of peachy smell. I wish we could — I wish —”

And really, there is nothing else to say. The weight of it hangs in the air between them. Changgu wishes the same thing. Their dreams have always been the same. 

He wants to start today over, wants to wake up soaking wet and burning up, wants Hongseok to be grinning at him, teasing him about his first heat before tracing his cheek with his thumb, taking care of him like he promised a lifetime ago.

Everything has always been so easy between them. Changgu moved across the street from Hongseok when he was six years old. They’ve been best friends since the day they met, when Hongseok invited him over to play football in his back yard. They played on the basketball team together since middle school. It’s like Hongseok is Changgu’s other half, like they’ve known each other for a thousand years.

They both took it for granted, that Changgu would be an Omega. That everything would work out like a fairy tale.

And Hongseok has always been _ traditional_. He fucks around with Betas but he’s never serious. He’s always believed he’d end up with an Omega, and Changgu can’t even _ think _about how it was supposed to be him.

Hongseok stays with him a little longer, pets through his hair in the first awkward silence they’ve ever had, and when he leaves Changgu buries his face into his pillow and cries.

*~*~*~*~*~*

They go back to university and Hongseok is different. He’s always been a touchy person, the first to sling his arm around his Beta friends or rub his face against his chosen Omega of the week, scenting them like a cat. And always, always Changgu. He hasn’t kept his hands to himself since they were kids. When they were in high school Hongseok made him strip down to his underwear and he named every single muscle in Changgu’s body, traced them with steady fingers, studied his anatomy notes like that for so long Changgu’s ears turned red. 

But not Alphas. Never. Hongseok would sooner punch an Alpha than hold their hand. 

Now that Changgu is an Alpha Hongseok reaches for his hand and stops mid way, the realization hitting him like a cinder block. Changgu watches his face contort, almost like disgust, before he crumbles, eyes downcast as he pulls away. 

It gets better with time. After a month Hongseok is joking with him like he never presented at all, sometimes bumps their shoulders together and Changgu comes to crave it. They’re the same in that respect. Changgu has always been tactile, especially with Hongseok. Being unable to touch him is like holding his arm over a candle, a slow, painful thing, but the occasional touches help.

“You’re such an Alpha,” Hongseok says one day, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his tee shirt. He has to fight to keep his eyes off Hongseok’s skin, his mouth suddenly dry.

Instead, Changgu rolls his eyes.

“In what way am I _ such an Alpha_?”

They’ve been playing basketball for the better part of an hour, one on one with their old street rules. Changgu hip checks him and steals the ball while his shirt is up, races down the court and throws a three pointer.

“Cocky shit like that,” Hongseok says as he runs down to him. He’s got this smirk on his face that Changgu wants to wipe off more than anything. “I guess I just never noticed it before. You’re really strong, too. And good at sports.”

Changgu pushes his shoulder.

“Dude, that’s so...Betas and Omegas can be like that, too. Don’t be an asshole.”

Hongseok’s eyes flash with something. Changgu has seen it before. Alphas challenging him, posturing. He’s just never seen it directed at him like this.

_ Oh _ , Changgu realizes a little belatedly, _ I really pissed him off_.

Hongseok shoves Changgu hard, and he isn’t prepared for it. He tries to catch his balance, overcorrects and almost faceplants into Hongseok’s chest. They’re closer now, and Changgu can smell the anger on his skin like it’s another scent. He tries to back up but finds he can’t, like his own newly acquired Alpha pride won’t let him.

He meets Hongseok’s eyes and even under the anger, Changgu’s chest is tight with it. He wonders what Hongseok would do if he closed the distance, if he nosed up the line of his neck, licked the sweat off his skin. 

The thing about being newly presented is that there’s a bit of a learning curve. Hongseok’s nostrils flare, his eyes wide as he stares at him. He takes a few steps back, and _ oh_. He can smell how Changgu’s a little turned on. He keeps forgetting he has a scent now, that Hongseok can tell things about him he couldn't before.

Hongseok has that look again, the one torn between disgust and intrigue.

“_Don’t_,” Hongseok says, like it’s the only word he can come up with. It comes out acrid, black and smokey in the air between them. It makes Changgu want to hit him, and he almost does. Instead he shoves Hongseok back, and Hongseok growls, low and dark and threatening.

It probably isn’t having the effect Hongseok wants it to have. In the month since his birthday he’s come to accept that he’s an Alpha, that no matter how much he wants things to be the same, they are incredibly different now.

But Changgu has wanted _ this _ since forever. He can’t erase it that easily. He isn’t even sure he wants to.

Changgu smirks and closes the space between them, and that just makes Hongseok fist his shirt, pull him in so they’re eye to eye. 

“I don’t take shit from Alphas, and that includes you,” Hongseok says. His breath is hot on Changgu’s face. 

He slides his hands over Hongseok’s and pulls them off his shirt and yeah, he _ is _ a lot stronger now. Hongseok looks at him, anger giving way for just a moment to genuine awe, like he still can’t believe Changgu is really an Alpha. 

This is the longest that Changgu has been able to touch Hongseok since he presented. He’s sure it’s a bad thing. He shouldn’t make this connection. Riling Hongseok up is easy. He’s been doing it most of his life. If this is what it takes for things to get even a little more normal — 

He lets go of Hongseok’s hands and backs off, holds his own hands out between them and sighs. It’s tempting to see how far the aggression might take them, because anything is better than what they’ve been doing. But Changgu has never been good at staying angry for long. 

“You’ve only ever taken shit from me when you wanted to,” Changgu says, voice strained. He walks past Hongseok and grabs his water bottle off the ground. “Me being an Alpha isn’t going to change that.”

Hongseok looks at him like he’s trying to put a mirror back together, jagged pieces of glass cutting his fingers no matter how carefully he picks up the pieces. 

“You’re wrong, Changgu. You being an Alpha changes _ everything_.”

Changgu turns before any expression can cross his face. He runs back to his dorm and takes the hottest shower he can stand, like he can burn every bit of Hongseok out of him if he tries hard enough.

But the water in the dorms never stays hot for very long.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s the week after midterms that it happens. Changgu has been expecting it, but he isn’t prepared to wake up in his dorm rock hard, the world hazy around the edges. Everything seems so sharp, the scents floating in from the hall, the sunlight streaming through his window. It’s like he’s on overdrive. He reaches into his pajamas and grips his cock, already sticky with precum. He strokes himself and hisses. He’s _ never _ been this hard before. 

It’s more habit than anything that has him reaching for his phone. He texts Hongseok but he can’t even remember what he’s typed after he hits send, sets it on the bedside table and fucks up into his fist with a growl. He’s so _ sensitive_. His cock pulses in his hand, he presses his thumb into the slit and his vision explodes in stars, bright lights and _ god_, he won’t last like this.

He speeds up, grips himself a little tighter and it’s no time at all before heat simmers low in his belly, maybe the fastest he’s ever gotten this close. Changgu bites his lip as the feeling washes over him, almost, almost —

Except he doesn’t come. He’s so hard it almost hurts and he can’t come. It’s not really fair. No one told him rut was like this.

He takes his hand out of his pants and throws one of his pillows off the bed, groans and pulls the other pillow against his chest. 

How long do these things last? Hongseok has never really talked to him about his ruts. He has nothing to go on.

Hours? Days? Will he just be hard and horny the whole time, go from frustrated to angry and then what? 

He can smell Hongseok before he even hears his footsteps. He presses his palms into his eyes and groans, rolls onto his side and squeezes the pillow with his arms as tight as he can. His key jingles in the lock and Changgu doesn’t dare look at the door when it opens.

Things trump biology, sometimes. It is biologically impossible for a child to lift a car, but there are reports of siblings saving each other, lifting something so large with ease in spite of everything. 

Hongseok should walk into his room and smell him, should know he’s in rut and slam the door on his way out. He’s an Alpha. He shouldn’t want to be here at all.

Instead Hongseok pads into his room and kneels next to his bed. His eyes are so gentle, the hand he reaches out not hesitant, not angry. He strokes his thumb across Changgu’s cheek and gives him the barest hint of a smile.

“It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

There is a part of Changgu, even through the haze of rut, that wants to bury his face in Hongseok’s neck and cry. He’s missed this, the soft comfort of his best friend. He wants to savor every second, wants to take as much of it as he’s allowed.

Instead it just makes him _ angry_. It’s not _ fair _ that Hongseok is looking at him like this, like he’s not an Alpha, like he cares about Changgu at all. 

_ If he really cared_, Changgu thinks, _ then it wouldn’t have changed at all_.

He rips Hongseok’s hand away from his face and growls, shoves him hard enough that he’s off balance. Changgu follows, shoves him again until he’s flat on his back, pins him down with his hands, traps him between his legs.

Changgu has never felt like this before. He’s so angry he can’t think. He’s so turned on every place Hongseok touches him jolts straight to his cock. Everything is happening at light speed and slow motion at the same time.

Hongseok doesn’t struggle against him like he expects him to. He lays there, hands between their bodies, pressed into Changgu’s chest, against his hammering heart. His pupils are blown wide. He takes a breath and it rattles out of him like he’s scared, but Hongseok isn’t scared of other Alphas. It’s more like he’s —

Changgu doesn’t think about anything when he crashes their lips together. He digs his fingers into Hongseok’s shoulders and shoves his tongue into his mouth. He wants. He’s never wanted anything as much as this. Changgu is an Alpha, and he knows that as an Alpha, he can _ take _ what he wants.

Hongseok makes a strangled noise and grips his shirt, tries to push him away but Changgu growls a low warning and moves his hand to the back of Hongseok’s neck. He kisses him harder, teeth digging into his bottom lip until he tastes blood, hot and metallic and his cock pulses with it.

His brain is just a loop. Mine, _ mine, mine_. Changgu rolls his hips down, desperate to get the edge off, and Hongseok pulls him back by his hair. They’re both panting, chests heaving, eyes searching. Changgu doesn’t know what Hongseok is looking for. The air between them is so hot it hurts to breathe it in. 

Hongseok’s resolve visibly crumbles. He burns it into his mind, the way Hongseok’s hand loosens in his hair, the way his eyes go a little hazy when he stares at Changgu’s mouth, the way he licks his lips and takes a breath. 

“Changgu,” he whispers, but it feels louder, heavier. It’s everything. “_Please _ —”

Changgu kisses him again, slow and sweet and properly this time. Hongseok melts, pulls Changgu down until they’re connected from hip to chest. The need is still there, but he forces it back, lets it simmer in his gut while he kisses Hongseok the way he’s always wanted to. 

Hongseok’s hands are on his back, sliding slow like they’re back in high school, like Hongseok is trying to memorize _ him _ this time instead of his anatomy notes. His mouth still tastes like blood and Changgu runs his tongue across Hongseok’s bottom lip, soothes as much as he can. Hongseok makes a small sound and their tongues meet in the middle, hesitant this time. His heart is frantic in his chest. He can feel Hongseok’s too, pounding just off time with his. 

He loses himself to it, the feeling of their lips moving together, tongues mapping, exploring what’s always been promised to them. He can’t hold it back forever though, and when Hongseok’s teeth catch on his bottom lip Changgu shudders. He breaks the kiss, buries his face in Hongseok’s neck and grinds their hips together. He makes a noise somewhere between a whine and a growl and Hongseok’s hand is back in his hair. He arches up, presses his half hard cock into Changgu’s thigh and he feels like he’s going crazy, the weird hyperfocus of rut crashing through him.

Changgu nips at Hongseok’s neck just as his hands make it down to his hips. He hisses, palms Changgu’s ass and presses their bodies together. Changgu starts a slow rhythm, sucks a dark mark into Hongseok’s skin. 

Mine, he thinks somewhere in the haze, _ mine mine mine_.

Hongseok pulls him back by the hair again, but this time Changgu’s body is electric with desire and _ god _ does it feel good. He can smell Hongseok’s arousal thick in the air, and it’s like a thread snaps inside of him.

He laces their fingers together and squeezes hard enough that it probably hurts, but Hongseok doesn’t make a sound. They lock eyes and Changgu’s chest rumbles.

“Need — I — _ Please I _ —”

Changgu can barely string it together, but Hongseok’s eyes flash. He understands. Of course he does. He pushes at Changgu’s shoulders until he can get off the floor and lays down on the bed. There’s not a single provocative thing about it except that it’s Hongseok, that he’s laying in _ his _ bed and he knows that Changgu is in rut and he hasn’t left.

He sits on the floor for a few heartbeats and just takes it in. It’s all fuzzy around the edges, the biological need to fuck and claim and take clouding his mind. Hongseok props up on his elbows and cocks an eyebrow, and it’s enough of a challenge that Changgu responds by tugging Hongseok down the bed by his ankle, smirking at his surprised yelp. 

Changgu pulls off his tee shirt and tosses it to the floor before he climbs onto the bed. Hongseok’s eyes rake over him. They’ve seen each other naked countless times, but Changgu feels how different it is. His eyes travel over every inch of exposed skin, hover at the v of his hips, glancing lightning fast at where he’s straining against the fabric of his pants. 

Hongseok works his way back up before meeting his eyes, licks his lips and Changgu rips the collar of Hongseok’s shirt when he tugs it off. 

Changgu straddles him, the solid weight of Hongseok under him enough to force a groan out of him. He falls forward and kisses him again, hard and bruising, takes and takes and takes even as Hongseok lets out the first warning sound he’s made all morning. He digs his nails into Changgu’s back and it _ hurts_. He pays him back by sinking his teeth into his chest, above his nipple, hard enough to leave a perfect impression. 

Another claim, really. 

It’s the rut. That’s what he tells himself. He wants to mark and claim because it’s a biological need. It doesn’t help that Hongseok makes a sound almost like a moan, rakes his nails down Changgu’s back and breathes out _ fuck_.

He licks over the mark, works his way down until he’s face to face with Hongseok’s sweatpants. His half hard dick was obvious before, but now it’s undeniable. Changgu’s mouth goes dry. He grips Hongseok’s thighs and mouths at the planes of his stomach, slips his tongue just under the waistband of his pants and oh, of course Hongseok wouldn’t be wearing underwear. 

Changgu tugs at his sweats but Hongseok leans up and stops him, gives him an almost pleading look. So Changgu waits, and Hongseok reaches into his pocket and drops a small bottle of lube next to his knee.

“I bet you don’t have any,” Hongseok teases, smirking even as Changgu’s blood boils in his veins. “You didn’t even think about it, did you?”

Changgu shoves his shoulder. 

“Fuck you.”

Hongseok’s eyes go dark. 

“That’s the only way you’re going to feel better, so yeah, that’s the plan.”

Changgu thinks this must be what it feels like when angels come down from the sky and proclaim you a chosen one. 

He bites his own lip and tastes blood, hands shaking at his sides with need and something he absolutely cannot name. 

God, how many people have _ ever _ —

He takes a deep breath, then another before he meets Hongseok’s eyes and works his pants off. Hongseok lays back again and takes a few deep breaths of his own.

Changgu has always imagined this going the other way around, that Hongseok would be the one hovering over him, working him open like its his first time, sliding inside like he belongs there.

But it seems like nothing has gone the way he’s planned since his birthday.

Hongseok looks too good to be real, smooth and muscular and his cock strains in the air. Changgu digs his fingers into the backs of Hongseok’s thighs and pulls him closer. Hongseok lets out a small, half surprised sound and Changgu smirks before settling between the space he’s made.

The click of the cap opening is loud. Changgu drips lube over two fingers and presses them against Hongseok’s entrance. The desire to fuck into him with no prep at all is so _ intense_. That’s the rut, Changgu knows. It’s hard to focus on anything, but he grips Hongseok’s cock and slips a finger inside at the same time. 

Hongseok’s moan is so _ loud_, half way to lewd and Changgu’s entire body burns with it. He wants to replay it forever, on a loop until he’s got it memorized. He starts slow, works his finger inside and strokes him in rhythm. Hongseok takes a deep breath and relaxes against the bed. He’s got an arm over his face, and as much as Changgu wants to see his reactions he’s also half way out of his mind with need. It’s all he can do to pace himself, waits for Hongseok to give the barest nod before slipping a second finger inside. 

Hongseok is _ tight_, so tight it makes Changgu shudder, another wave of need pulsing through him. He pushes deeper, trails his fingers over the head and curls his fingers up, searching. It’s a few more thrusts before Hongseok bucks up into his hand with a gasp. Changgu picks up the pace, works both hands faster, keeps pressure on that spot inside him. Hongseok’s thighs tense and Changgu smears precum across the head of his cock as he pumps him faster. 

He pulls out, and logically he knows it’s too soon. Two fingers isn’t enough, but Changgu really, _ really _ can’t wait anymore. He’s so hot, he’s so hard it’s starting to hurt again. He slicks himself up with an obscene amount of lube and hopes it helps, makes this easier. He presses the head of his cock against Hongseok’s entrance and he doesn’t move to stop him, just sucks in a breath and gives Changgu a quick nod. 

He grabs Hongseok’s hand and brings it to his lips, places a quick kiss to his palm before he presses inside. 

Hongseok feels — Changgu couldn’t find the words even if he had a lifetime to describe it. Hongseok is hot and so tight, grips Changgu so good he knows he won’t last even with the hormones coursing through his body. 

He eases in as slowly as he can. Hongseok is concentrating on breathing, which is good. Changgu would tell him he’s doing great if he could focus on more than one thing. Instead he presses another kiss to his palm. Hongseok probably knows what he means. He’s always been good at that, at knowing what Changgu is feeling before he even thinks to say it out loud. 

He bottoms out and falls forward. His hands are next to Hongseok’s head and he’s still hiding his eyes behind his arm. Changgu kisses him again to distract him and definitely not because he wants and wants and _ wants _. Hongseok sighs against his lips and he relaxes enough that Changgu can pull out an inch and push back in. It’s a start. Hongseok shivers. He’s burning up, skin coated in sweat. Changgu breaks the kiss and licks the salt from his neck, sucks a mark just under his jaw. The sound Hongseok makes is enough to get him moving, slow, half way out and then back in again.

“Just —” Hongseok starts, panting. He squeezes Changgu’s bicep. “I’m an _ Alpha_. You’re not gonna break me.” 

Changgu props up on his hands and looks down at his best friend. His arm is finally out of the way, his eyes brown and warm and wild. There’s so much going on behind them Changgu can’t even start to sort it all out. Hongseok doesn’t really give him the chance either way. He wraps his leg around Changgu’s waist and pulls him closer, until he’s as deep inside of him as he can go.

“Just _ fuck me_.”

The anger is back, liquid fire pouring through his chest. Changgu growls, pulls out until just the tip is left inside and slams back in hard enough that Hongseok jolts up the bed. 

If he wants to get fucked, then Changgu will fuck him until he can’t _ move_.

The gentle caution from earlier is gone, replaced by the need to get off, the need to show Hongseok that he can give him what he wants. It’s weird how the approval and the need all mix together and blur until it’s all one thing. He fucks Hongseok hard and fast, and Hongseok gasps a few deep breaths before he relaxes again. He’s still so tight it makes Changgu dizzy. 

Hongseok braces his hands against the headboard, his back arching when Changgu hits that spot inside him. He growls, his pheromones thick between them. Changgu pulls out and Hongseok stares at him with wide eyes. He grips his hips and flips him over, gets him up on his knees before slamming back inside of him.

Hongseok feels so good. Better than anyone Changgu has ever been with. Hongseok’s face is pillowed on his arm, and like this Changgu strokes over his prostate with every thrust. He’s moaning on every exhale and it’s _ everything_. 

It hits him all at once. Changgu is close, close like he was when he was fucking into his fist. All he wants to do is come, so he leans down, presses into Hongseok’s back and fucks him faster. Everything is happening in that super fast slow motion way that Changgu is coming to associate with rut. 

Hongseok shivers when he wraps his hand around his cock. He’s throbbing in Changgu’s hand, precum leaking enough to make everything slick. Changgu jerks him off in sloppy, quick thrusts and sinks his teeth into his shoulder. Hongseok shouts, whether from pain or pleasure, and he pants something Changgu can’t quite make out but sounds a lot like _ close_.

It seems fitting that they come at the same time. Changgu feels Hongseok’s body go rigid beneath him just as his hips stutter, losing rhythm. Hongseok comes with a moan, spilling across the sheets. Changgu’s hand is hot and sticky with his come and that’s what does it. He pants into the back of Hongseok’s neck and comes. His knot makes them both cry out. Hongseok gasps and Changgu, now that he’s got a little clarity back, kisses the back of his neck to distract him from it. 

Everything is quiet after that, the only noise the sound of their ragged breathing. Changgu waits a few minutes before rolling on his side and taking Hongseok with him. He can almost pretend they’re cuddling like this, Hongseok pressed into his chest, legs tangled together. He gets a little closer but that just makes his knot move inside Hongseok. The two of them moan at the same time and Changgu has to fight the laugh that bubbles up inside of him. 

Things almost seem normal.

“Feel better?” Hongseok asks after a while, finally breaking the silence between them. Changgu takes a minute to assess himself. Everything is a little less fuzzy. He still feels like he could go a few more rounds before he’s totally sated, even after he came for what felt like hours. He’s not as mad, either.

Changgu touches the tip of his nose to the back of his neck. Hongseok kind of smells like him, like warm amber and something lighter, softer, but Changgu isn’t sure what it is. They smell nice together. They’re both Alphas but their scents make something warm and comforting and familiar, something like home.

“A little,” Changgu finally manages, voice strained. If he’s lucky Hongseok will think he’s just fucked out. He doesn’t think he can talk about anything that’s going through his mind right now.

His knot goes down enough for him to ease out. Hongseok hisses and Changgu watches the way his come trickles out. He’s suddenly very, _ very _ turned on again, even if his body isn’t quite there yet.

Hongseok doesn’t push away from him now that they aren’t stuck together. It’s kind of amazing. Changgu wants to wrap his arms around him but he doesn’t want to do anything to bring attention to how close they are. 

Maybe this is what they needed, Changgu thinks. Maybe Hongseok knows now. Even though Changgu is an Alpha, it doesn’t mean that they can’t do this, that they have to throw everything away.

Changgu noses his way up to Hongseok’s ear.

“How many times, do you think? Before it goes away?” Changgu asks, breath ghosting past Hongseok’s ear. He shudders and presses back against him. 

“You’ll feel better by tomorrow. We just have to fuck it out of you until then.”

Hongseok has always been straightforward. Changgu’s whole body is on fire all over again at the thought of fucking Hongseok, knotting him again and again, mine, _ mine_, _ mine_.

Changgu snakes his hand around, trails it down Hongseok’s stomach and toward the v of his hips.

“Are you —”

“I’m fine,” Hongseok rushes out, cutting him off. “Don’t worry about me. I’m an —”

“_God _ , yes, I _ know_. You’re a big tough Alpha and you don’t need me to —”

Hongseok turns toward him and pushes him flat against the mattress. Suddenly he’s the one on top and Changgu sees stars, fireworks bursting in front of his eyes.

“Don’t, Changgu. Not now. Just — let me do this.”

There are so many things Changgu wants say. That he doesn’t want whatever this is. That this is all he’s ever wanted since before he even understood what it meant to want someone. That Hongseok is so confusing Changgu wants to punch him.

Instead he just sighs. 

“What is _ this_, exactly?” he asks, irritation clear in his voice.

Hongseok looks down at him with a smirk.

“Stay still for me, okay?”

Hongseok settles between his legs and swallows his cock and yeah, he can shut up and let Hongseok do this all night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so remember that Angst with A Happy Ending tag :)

Changgu wakes up slowly, awareness coming to him in stages. It’s almost embarrassing how the first thing he takes note of is Hongseok. He knotted him again at some point, eyes locked and it was amazing how Changgu could see every emotion cross his face, how Hongseok came so hard drops of it decorated his neck. Changgu licked it off and kissed him again, and when Hongseok made a face at the taste of his own come Changgu just grinned and stuck his tongue out at him.

Changgu wakes up and is hit by how quiet his dorm is. He reaches out, blindly, disgustingly hopeful. There is nothing. The space next to him is cold. 

He doesn’t know why he dared hope for anything different. 

He feels physically better, at least. The tingling under his skin is gone, the blazing arousal something he can easily ignore. He’s supposed to go to class but he can’t find the energy to get out of bed. 

He burows into his pillows and pulls the blanket over his head, which it turns out is a new, sick form of torture. Hongseok’s scent is _ everywhere_, the sheets, the pillows, clings to his skin like it’s his own. Every breath pushes the knife in deeper. It hurts but he can’t stop.

Hongseok is gone and Changgu can’t bear to think about why.

Was he...not good? Things were frantic and rushed and not the way he ever imagined, but Hongseok pulled him back for more, moaned into his mouth and panted against his skin. He would have said if he didn’t like it. That’s the kind of person he’s always been.

The problem with knowing someone the way he knows Hongseok is that he already knows the answer. 

When Hongseok got his text he wasn’t thinking about anything except that Changgu needed him. So he came and he helped and then at some point, maybe when Changgu threw an arm over his chest in the middle of the night, maybe when he woke up to the soft gray sunrise, Hongseok remembered that Changgu is an _ Alpha_.

When Hongseok realized he let an Alpha fuck him, what else could he do except leave?

Changgu rubs his face against his pillow, breathes in their mingled scent. They’ve always been so similar. Changgu remembers meeting Hongseok and how he brought his favorite action figure with him and how Hongseok’s face lit up with delight as he pulled him up to his bedroom and showed him the exact same one. 

It’s later, when Hongseok presents, that Changgu realizes being an Alpha is _ everything _ to him. To be strong, to be respected, to be the best. That’s what he’s always wanted. 

If anything, last night cements into place what Changgu has known since he was a kid. That Hongseok is the person he’s meant to be with. Being an Alpha doesn’t change that.

For Hongseok it’s just cemented that everything is different now, that Changgu being an Alpha is something he can’t accept. 

Changgu drifts back to sleep thinking about Hongseok’s hands gripping his waist, and an empty, hollow place opens up inside of him.

*~*~*~*~*~*

It takes him two days to start going to class again. His professors are very understanding when he emails them. They’ve all been there, of course they understand. The first rut or heat is always the hardest. They send him lecture notes to catch up on and Changgu is so busy he hardly notices anything else around him. 

He runs into Hongseok on the quad. He’s dressed in basketball shorts and a sleeveless shirt and all Changgu can pay attention to is how the muscles over his ribs are too defined to be real. 

(_Serratus anterior,” Hongseok says, face serious as he runs his fingers over the lines of them and Changgu shivers, ticklish and warm, wonders half dizzily how much longer Hongseok is going to use him as study material instead of just saying he wants to touch him._)

“What’s up, man?” Hongseok says, fidgeting with the strap of his bag. “Feeling better?”

He can’t be serious.

“You can’t be serious right now,” Changgu says. He’s stopped walking and Hongseok has to stop short and turn to face him. 

“It gets easier after the first time,” Hongseok says. He looks away, down to the ground, his voice softer. “Find an Omega and it’ll be even better.”

Hongseok is standing there, sunshine warming his skin, breeze moving his bangs and all Changgu can think about is the way his name sounds when Hongseok moans it out, the way he leaves finger shaped bruises on Changgu’s skin, the way his come tastes.

The anger is becoming an automatic response. Hongseok is acting like everything is normal but everything is so _ weird_.

Changgu feels twisted up and squeezed, like Hongseok is reaching inside of his chest and wringing blood out of each organ one by one.

He fights past the anger.

“I’ve been meaning to ask if you’re okay,” Changgu says and now he’s the one looking at the ground. Hongseok takes a single step closer to him. It’s like his body is hyper aware of their proximity. He can smell Hongseok, warm and woodsy like always, can practically feel the heat of his skin over the summer air.

He looks up because he can’t help himself and Hongseok’s eyes are wide with something that looks a lot more like fear than anger, but anger is what seeps out with Hongseok’s words.

“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about it.”

Changgu reaches out without thinking, grabs Hongseok’s wrist and steps closer.

“Don’t. We need to talk about —” he starts, but Hongeok pulls away from him so hard Changgu bumps into someone behind him. He should apologize but the only thing he can think about is the look on Hongseok’s face.

“There’s nothing to talk about, okay? Nothing happened that —”

Hongseok’s mouth snaps shut but it doesn’t really matter. The words burn like a slap. 

_ Nothing happened_.

Nothing happened.

Changgu backs up one step, another step.

Hongseok’s eyes are wide. He reaches out a hand in the space between them, his fingers faltering in the air.

“Changgu, I didn’t —”

“_Fuck you, _” Changgu growls, turns and storms away. 

He can hear Hongseok start to follow him, a few hurried steps behind him, and then nothing. 

He doesn’t stop walking until he’s back at his dorm. He’s so angry all he can think to do is hit the wall, punches the old brick and feels bright hot pain. He looks down at his hand and his knuckles are scraped, blood oozing from each one.

It hurts more but somehow it hurts less, too.

*~*~*~*~*~*

He doesn’t see or hear from Hongseok for two weeks. It’s not like he doesn’t stay busy. He goes to the frat house and has Wonwoo proofread his essay, he does so much school work he’s ahead by the time his next assignment is due. When he spends an afternoon with Yanan and begs him to teach him Chinese phrases, he realizes how much he misses Hongseok.

Hongseok’s Mandarin isn’t as good as Yanan’s, but the sounds make his heart seize, and it hits him over and over, batters him like waves. 

Hongseok. 

What’s he doing? Who’s he been spending all his time with? It’s the first time since they’ve known each other that Changgu doesn’t know the answers.

Yanan puts a hand on his shoulder and he looks up, realizes he’s been lost in his thoughts and mentally shakes himself.

He gives Yanan an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. You’re a good teacher, I promise. I’m just —”

Yanan squeezes his shoulder and shrugs. Yanan is an Alpha, but he’s more like Wonwoo than Hongseok. He’s captivating, undeniably so when he wants to be. But being an Alpha isn’t his only personality trait, isn’t the core of his very being.

“Can I tell you something?” Yanan asks suddenly, cutting Changgu off. 

He nods and Yanan leans forward. It’s nice to have someone in his personal space. Changgu sort of missed being touched like he was a normal person and not like being an Alpha made something wrong with him.

“I finally did it. I hooked up with an Alpha.”

He can hear the smile in Yanan’s voice. For a split second, Changgu wonders if Yanan is saying this on purpose, if he _ knows_, somehow, about Hongseok, if he can smell it on his skin even though Changgu’s washed his sheets twice since his rut.

He moves back until he can see Yanan’s eyes. He tries to stay calm.

“Yeah? What was it like?”

Yanan smirks.

“Hot. Fun. You should try it now that you presented.” Yanan’s hand slides over his arm and something swirls in Changgu’s gut. “You smell _ really _ good. If you ever want to...it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

_ Nothing happened_. 

It’s a little too similar. Hongseok’s words echo through his mind like alarm bells and Changgu takes a deep breath.

Maybe all Alphas are the same, or at least at their core. All of them just boiled down to sex and pride. It’s not that he wouldn’t. Yanan is handsome. He’s kind and he’s a good friend and Changgu thinks being between those long, long legs would definitely be as fun as Yanan promises.

Changgu sighs and licks his lips.

“I think I just — I’ve got a lot to catch up on. I still have to figure out all this Alpha stuff.” He meets Yanan’s eyes. “Not that I wouldn’t. It’s —”

Yanan smirks. 

“Once you get all the Alpha stuff figured out. That’s when you can finally do what you want.” His hand has trailed down to Changgu’s and he squeezes his fingers before pulling away. “It’s not like anyone cares. Alpha, Beta, Omega. It’s just about who you like.”

_ I hope you’re right_, is what Changgu wants to say. It feels too much like an admission, so instead he just nods and tries to read the characters Yanan has scribbled on the page in front of him.

*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s not until the pre-finals party that he sees Hongseok again. He’s only here because people will ask questions if he’s not. Frat life and Alpha life intersect a lot more than Changgu expected before he got to university. He kind of misses the life he had before he presented, hanging out with Betas, not being approached by every Omega who makes eye contact with him.

There’s a pretty girl. She looks familiar. Changgu is sure he’s seen her somewhere before. Her hair is shoulder length and her eyes are wide and round, body the perfect hourglass. She walks closer and Changgu catches her scent, warm and sweet, caramel and something fruity. 

“Hi,” she says, voice soft and a little breathless, like she’s doing it on purpose, “Changgu, right? I’m Seunghee. We had a class together last semester.”

That’s right. Changgu nods and gives her a half smile.

“Right. I remember you.”

Seunghee smirks. Yeah. She probably knows she’s a little unforgettable. Her dress is so tight Changgo can see the band of her bra, her tiny waist that flares out into the most beautiful hips and thighs.

She’s beautiful. 

“You’re beautiful,” Changgu says, unable to catch the words. He’s on his third drink. The filter between his mouth and his brain is long gone.

Seunghee steps closer, presses her body against him. 

“Do you want to go upstairs? I know there’s an empty room on the third floor.”

Her eyes are dark and her tongue peeks out, just a bit, and runs along the seam of her lips. She probably tastes as good as she smells. 

It would be so easy to nod, to lead her up the stairs, to reach his hand up her dress and slip inside her. He’s an Alpha, after all. This is the way things are supposed to go.

He shuts his eyes and sees Hongseok, arm over his face while he lets Changgu fuck him. 

“I —,” he sighs and takes a step back. “You _ are _ beautiful, Seunghee. I’m just not looking for something casual right now.”

Her face falls, but she collects herself quickly, smooths her hands over her dress and shrugs her shoulders.

“Your loss. Don’t bet on a next time.”

She walks away and Changgu feels lighter, somehow. Knowing that someone wants him is kind of nice, especially after the way things have been with Hongseok.

As if on cue, Hongseok walks out of the kitchen and into the hallway. Changgu can’t help the way his mouth turns up at the corners. They haven’t spoken in weeks, but it doesn’t mean Changgu hasn’t thought about him since then, hasn’t wanted to clear the air and try to go back to normal. There is an ache that hasn’t gone away since his birthday. It’s not even what happened during his rut. He just wants his best friend back.

There’s a girl clinging to Hongseok’s arm. She’s small and slender, hair long and rose gold. Changgu knows she’s an Omega even without scenting her, can tell by the way she looks at Hongseok, goes soft and pliant the second his hand lands on her shoulder. He looks at her with half-lidded eyes, leans down and noses at her neck and her eyes flutter. 

It feels exactly like when Changgu punched the wall outside of his dorm. Pain, sharp and hot and immediate, blooming everywhere. He can almost feel the blood drip from his heart onto the floor.

And then Seunghee walks up to the two of them, gives Hongseok the same smirk she’d given Changgu just a few minutes before. Only Hongseok looks to the rose haired girl and back to Seunghee. The two girls look at each other before nodding. Changgu can smell Hongseok’s arousal across the room, if only because he’s intimately familiar with it. Hongseok takes a hand in each of his and walks toward the stairs, and Seunghee glances into Changgu’s eyes before following, as if saying _ your loss _one last time.

Hongseok isn’t looking for Changgu and so he doesn’t see him. No, his mind is on the two Omegas he’s taking to his room.

It hurts twice as much. Not only are they both Omegas, but they’re both girls. It’s like Hongseok is doing it on purpose, like he’s proving to Changgu that this is the way things are. Hongseok _ should _ be with an Omega. He’s always believed he would be. Girl or guy has never mattered, but the knife twists in his ribs just the same. 

Changgu watches the three of them until they disappear from his sight. He walks back through the kitchen and out the door and has to fight the urge to hit something.

*~*~*~*~*~*

After the party, Hongseok texts him, and they meet up for a quick game of basketball. It’s awkward but nice, and Changgu feels a little more normal for it. Even when he steals the ball from Hongseok and catches the traces of some soft, sweet Omega’s scent on his skin, Changgu does his best to brush it off. 

No matter how he thinks about it, he doesn’t have any right to be upset. Hongseok isn’t his, not in that way. The promises of school children mean nothing in the light of reality. Changgu is an Alpha, and if the choice is to have Hongseok as his friend or not have him at all, well, it’s not much of a choice.

His rut was just...Hongseok is his best friend. Of course he was willing to help him out. Changgu would do the same for him. He’s going to have to get over it, and so he buries it down, down, deep as it can go. Hongseok is his friend and that’s it. 

That’s all.

It’s fine.

Monday finds Changgu in his Western Civ class. He’s got his notebook flipped open, pen at the ready. History has never been his favorite so he’s a little more diligent than usual about it. He’s not a bad student, it’s just hard to study things he’s not interested in. That’s all. History is more Hongseok’s thing, anyway. He can always ask him for help with anything he doesn’t understand. Or, well, that’s what he’s always done. 

Things are getting better between them. It’s fine. They’re still friends. Changgu knows this.

Hongseok’s scent drifts to him, light but definitely there. Woodsy and warm, floating gently through the air. It’s not completely unheard of for Hongseok to drop in on him before class, but he hasn’t done it in a long time. 

They’re both trying, though, so Changgu is grateful for it. He lets it wash over him a little more, breathes him in for a few more heartbeats before he turns in his seat.

Hongseok is not there. 

Instead, Chungha gives him a soft smile and takes her seat next to him, tucks a loose strand from her ponytail behind her ear and pulls out her notebook from her bag.

It feels worse, somehow, than when Changgu saw Hongseok lead two Omegas up to his bedroom. It’s like Hongseok is shoving shards of glass into his skin, over and over, the pain adding up into something nearly unbearable. 

Chungha is one of the first people Changgu became friends with at university. They met at new student orientation. She’s an Omega but she’s got this aura about her, commanding. Changgu liked her right away. They’ve tried to take at least one class together since, have talked about declaring at the same time. Photojournalism, make a team of it, Chungha with her camera and Changgu documenting life as it happens.

The professor walks in and begins his lecture. Chungha flicks her hair and another waft of Hongseok’s scent drifts to him. He has to turn away, hide the way it makes his stomach turn over. She must have come straight to class from his room, but she always looks so put together. It’s hard to say for sure.

There is an implication to it that makes Changgu’s blood boil. Hongseok knows how much he likes Chungha. Of course he does. He kept his distance, but Changgu understands now, clarity like the sun shining off icicles. 

Chungha is an Omega, and Changgu is an Alpha, no longer promised in that fairy tale life to Hongseok. He can do whatever he wants. Changgu can see it like it happened right in front of him, like Seunghee at the party.

Hongseok leaning against the wall, arm above his head but not to close. He wouldn’t want to ooze too much Alpha in front of Chungha. She’d brush him off without a second glance if he did. No, he’d have to work a little more to get her to flirt back. 

Or maybe, maybe she’s wanted him just as much. Changgu’s blood freezes in his veins at the thought. Maybe he’s been blind to it, to how much attention Hongseok must have paid him. How many Omegas wanted him while Changgu was his primary focus? How many people did he turn down for him?

It’s too much. Changgu stands up, interrupts the professor but he doesn’t care. He slings his backpack over his shoulder, tucks his notes under his arm and runs out of the classroom. 

Hongseok’s scent follows him, sticks to him like he’s stepped in gum.

It hurts. It hurts every single time. Since Changgu was fourteen, since Hongseok presented and started dating an Omega a week later. Each time, Hongseok would give him this look.

Changgu always thought it was just for appearances, that Hongseok was really saying _ you know it’s just me and you, right? This doesn’t mean I don't lo _—

He stops walking, falls to his knees on the grass in the middle of campus. 

Changgu has been in love with Hongseok since forever, since Hongseok broke his arm when they were kids and Changgu had to carry him back home, nine years old and not nearly strong enough to but he did it anyway, fought through fear and pain and tears and put everything aside to make sure he was okay.

There are enough memories like this to fill a library. They have always existed like this, halves of a whole, inseparable. 

How can Hongseok act like there’s never been anything between them? Being an Alpha shouldn’t erase a lifetime of love, of feelings and promises and yet every second it feels like that’s exactly what it’s doing.

He buries his face in his hands and breathes.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*

Changgu moves into the fraternity house after finals. He doesn’t want to go home for the summer, and with older members graduating there’s finally a space for him. The house is pretty empty so Changgu gets a room to himself until Fall semester starts. The fact that so many Alphas can live together under one roof is kind of amazing, but it’s mostly the work of the older members keeping everyone in line. The almost constant partying helps, too. 

With no school, it _ does _ feel like one never-ending party. There’s way too much alcohol and barely enough food, and Changgu is downstairs because it’s either join in or try to tune it out. He’s not quite tired of drinking yet, anyway.

It’s small, for them. The group is mostly made up of brothers, a few non-members that live in town, enough Betas and Omegas that it feels like the night might actually be fun. Changgu fills his cup with beer and joins a game of cards. 

Hongseok flits in and out of his awareness. It’s not as...severe as it was at first. Seeing him, smelling other people on him, still makes Changgu’s teeth ache, but he’s getting better at hiding it, at swallowing down the feeling until it’s a tight lump in his gut, smaller, smaller, and then nothing.

He’s three beers and two hands of poker in when the lights dim enough that they have to either stop playing or move the game somewhere else. Wonwoo packs up the cards and heads upstairs and a few of the others follow, but Changgu makes his way to the kitchen to refill his drink instead.

There is a threshold to everything. You can ignore an insect buzzing in your ear for a long time, but eventually the sound will get to you. You can hold still for hours, but eventually your knees will buckle. The sound of a dripping faucet can only be ignored for so long before it breaks you.

Hongseok is in the kitchen, his arm next to some guy’s head, very obviously chatting him up. Changgu can tell from the way his body is positioned. Hongseok leans in, nose to his neck, scenting him, and he can finally see the guy’s face.

Hongseok isn’t chatting up _ some guy_. He’s chatting up Wen Junhui. Wonwoo’s friend. An _ Alpha_.

And this is the drop of water that tips him over the edge. He slams his empty cup on the table and strides over to them, pulls Hongseok back with so much force they both stumble. 

Hongseok is drunk. Changgu can smell the alcohol over the scent of his arousal. He gives Changgu a questioning look, glances down between their bodies, back to Changgu’s hand around his bicep.

“What’s your problem, man?” Hongseok asks, his eyes going flat and hard. He tries to yank his arm out of Changgu’s grip but he holds on tight.

Changgu sees red, forces himself to take a deep breath before he does something he can’t take back. Junhui’s eyes are wide. He looks between the two of them carefully and Changgu feels bad, he really does. Junhui isn’t trying to start any problems. 

Changgu takes another breath and puts on his best apologetic smile.

“I’m so sorry,” Changgu says, “I think he’s done for the night. He’s so wasted he can’t even smell that you’re an Alpha.”

Junhui bursts into laughter, doubles over with it and he feels Hongseok struggle against him, like now that the words are out he’s got to save face or something.

“_Alpha _ ?” Hongseok croaks. “You don’t smell like —” His face contorts into something that looks a lot like disgust. Changgu’s blood is boiling. “That’s so _ sick_. Why didn’t you say anything?”

Junhui’s laughter dies down and he shrugs, presses his shoulder into the wall and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Didn’t think it mattered. You certainly seemed into it before.”

Hongseok opens his mouth and Changgu knows he’s going to say something that will get them both kicked out of the fraternity.

“Shut up. Please, god, do not say _ anything _ else,” Changgu murmurs next to his ear, tightens his grip on Hongseok’s arm and narrows his eyes. It takes way too many heartbeats for Hongseok to nod, so long that Changgu is sure he’s going to open his mouth and ruin them both.

He turns his attention back to Junhui and notices that a few other members of the fraternity are watching the situation, including Seungcheol, their vice president. 

“Really. I’m so sorry about this. I’m gonna take him out for some air.”

Changgu yanks Hongseok toward the front door without looking back. He just hopes their things aren’t at the door, packed and ready to go, after this.

Hongseok follows behind him but he’s still struggling against Changgu’s hold.

They make it onto the front lawn before Changgu finally gives in.

“An _ Alpha_? After all of this bullshit?” he growls, pushes Hongseok hard enough for him to stumble backwards. 

Hongseok isn’t as drunk as he initially thought. His eyes go hard and cold, and he pushes Changgu with just as much force, grips the front of his shirt. Their faces are inches apart.

“I didn’t _ know _ he was an Alpha. I wouldn’t have —”

He tackles Hongseok into the grass, fist colliding with his jaw and Changgu thinks it almost feels as good as fucking him.

Hongseok grunts and tries to roll them, and when that doesn’t work he punches Changgu in the mouth. It hurts, pain bright and immediate. He licks over his lip and tastes blood. 

A distinctly animal sound leaves him as he squeezes Hongseok’s waist between his knees.There are so many things Changgu wants to say.

_ Junhui is an Alpha but you wanted him anyway. The Omegas were one thing, but an Alpha? _

Changgu can’t make the words come out past the lump in his throat, so he hits Hongseok across the face, bares his teeth and yells, wordless rage and three months worth of swallowing down his feelings.

Anger is a lot like love, he has come to realize. Hongseok bucks his hips up and Changgu isn’t expecting it, goes lax enough that he’s thrown on his side. Hongseok’s hands are bunched in his shirt.

“What the fuck is your problem?” he spits, and somehow that’s worse. 

He really has no idea, none at all. Hongseok has always been that way, existed in this strange bubble where he was the center of his own universe, the king, kind enough to let down the gate for a boy two years younger than him.

Hongseok hits him in the chest, knocks the breath out of him and manages to roll on top of him. Changgu spits blood just in time to catch Hongseok’s fist at the side of his jaw. 

_ Why not me? Why not me? _

He can feel them. Bruises blooming all over his body. Everywhere Hongseok touches him leaves a mark. A caress or a punch, kick or a kiss, it’s all the same between them at this point.

_ You wanted an Alpha. Why can’t it be me? _

Hongseok’s knee collides with his stomach and he cries out, gasps a breath and pushes at Hongseok’s shoulders. It _ hurts_. 

The truth is that Changgu has never been a fighter. Even when they were kids, scuffles like this lasted only moments. He could never bear to see Hongseok hurt, and back then, Hongseok was always too protective of him to really cause him pain.

“Please —” Changgu gasps. His hands are still on Hongseok’s shoulders, shaking from the adrenaline of the fight. He wonders if Hongseok notices, if he cares.

_ Why? Why, why why? _

Hongseok’s lip is bleeding. They stare down at each other, both breathing heavy, harsh gasps that echo too closely to the sounds in Changgu’s dorm room, sounds he still can’t get out of his head. A drop of blood falls from his lip and lands on Changgu’s neck. It’s warm, even in the summer heat he can feel it, hot enough to burn, sliding down his skin like a brand. 

There are still so many things Changgu wants to say. He reaches up and Hongseok doesn’t stop him, slips his hand behind his neck. He wonders for a split second if he could pull him down for a kiss, if Hongseok would let him. 

But he can’t. Rejection, even after this, would be unbearable. 

He wants to, more than anything, but instead he pulls Hongseok down and presses his face into the space between his neck and shoulder.

Hongseok lets out a shaky exhale and relaxes against him. The temperature of blood and tears is the same, so Changgu can’t be sure which is the cause of the extra wetness on his skin. He runs his hand through Hongseok’s hair and stares up at the moon, full and bright. The only sounds are the droning of cicadas and their breaths, Changgu’s heartbeat loud in his ears.

Maybe they’re both tired of hurting. Hongseok has always been a physical person. Using Changgu for anatomy notes, the solid weight of their hands intertwined when Hongseok showed him how to set a volleyball. He can’t say the words, but maybe Hongseok understands now.

Every part of him is aching. His lip is throbbing, his ribs ache, and his heart —

Having Hongseok on top of him like this, it’s all he’s ever wanted for as long as he has known how to want. 

He didn’t think he’d have to hurt so much to get it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, we've made it to the end. Thank you so much for reading this and indulging me in my love of Insufferable Soulmate Alphas Honggu ;~;
> 
> Reminder that we do in fact have a fic [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/38GU5RMvA681ULym6KzSVM?si=z8uZKGRRS0ip1H1roUIs-w)!!

The summer passes by in a blur. Changgu goes about his days, hangs out with Yanan and Wonwoo, applies for a position on the university newspaper and is summarily rejected. He spends a lot of time outside, too, roaming the city surrounding the university, visiting little shops and local restaurants that don’t exist in his hometown. He convinces Yanan to help him bleach his hair, and it turns out pretty well, especially when the summer sun evens out the color.

He sees Hongseok because they live in the same house. Other than running into him in the hall or in the kitchen, they haven’t said a single thing to each other since the fight. He doesn’t even comment on Changgu’s hair.

It’s almost better this way. If they aren’t talking then they can’t hurt each other.

Two weeks before the semester starts Seungcheol knocks on his door and tells him he’s got to change rooms.

“Where am I going?” Changgu asks.

Seungcheol turns to leave and says it casually over his shoulder.

“Hongseok’s room. You two are friends, right? Figured you’d like being with someone you already know.”

There is nothing to say, so he nods and Seungcheol heads down the hall. 

A laugh bubbles out of him, bitter in his mouth. Of course they would stick him in Hongseok’s room. No one knows the whole story. To them, the fight at the beginning of summer was normal Alpha bullshit. Aggression, anger, and then everything’s fine. That’s how most Alphas handle things. 

The problem is that it’s not normal Alpha anything between them. 

It takes him an hour or so to gather up all his things. Notebooks, clothes. A shoebox of keepsakes, letters from home, concert tickets, pictures. He keeps it tucked away under his bed. He hasn’t pulled it out in a long time, and thinking about all the things inside makes his heart squeeze in his chest, too tight.

It’s a short walk, up a flight of stairs and mid-way down the hall and he is at Hongseok’s room. It seems silly to knock but he does it anyway. Hongseok has been living alone all summer. There’s no telling what could be happening inside.

It feels like a significant amount of time before the door opens. Hongseok is dressed in a tight white shirt and loose sweatpants that are low enough on his hips to show the band of his underwear. 

Changgu chokes on his spit, has to turn his head and cough. Hongseok is staring at him like he’s seen a ghost, like Changgu’s been off to battle and finally home after years and years.

“What are you doing here?” Hongseok asks. He hasn’t looked away from Changgu’s face the entire time.

He shakes the shoe box in his hand.

“They put me here for the semester.”

Hongseok blinks.

“Oh, that’s, uh —”

Hongseok doesn’t finish, but he does step away from the door so Changgu can set his things on the bed against the far wall. Hongseok has always used the one in front of the door. It’s fitting, very Alpha of him. 

Changgu is getting used to the awkward silences between them. Humans can adapt to things so quickly when they have to. He takes the time to unpack his clothes, tossing things haphazardly in the dresser and hanging up his few button down shirts. The shoebox doesn’t go under the bed this time. He hides it in the bottom drawer of the dresser and covers it with notebooks from old classes. 

The box itself has changed over the years but the contents are only ever added to. Hongseok has seen or been a part of every single thing inside of it.

When Changgu turned twelve Hongseok tied a piece of red string around his ring finger.

“Don’t forget, okay?” Hongseok had said. Changgu thought that Hongseok would have outgrown this fantasy by now, a few weeks away from fourteen. Changgu had never felt younger than he did thinking about it. 

“Yeo or Yang. It doesn’t matter to me,” Hongseok continued, took Changgu’s hand in his and squeezed. “If I’m the Alpha, you can take mine, and if you’re the Alpha, I’ll take yours. Deal?”

Changgu’s heart raced in his chest. Marriage, at twelve, seemed like a lifetime away. But it felt right, no doubt at all in promising himself to Hongseok.

He looked down at the loose red string around his finger and nodded, dazed.

Changgu is surprised that he hasn’t thrown it away. It doesn’t mean anything now that he’s presented.

He gets all of his things arranged and lays down on the bed, scrolls through his phone and Hongseok eventually gets up and leaves the room.

Changgu lets his phone fall out of his hand and onto the bed. He stares up at the ceiling, the swirling pattern blending in front of his eyes. 

Maybe things would be different if they had talked about it back then. If Changgu had said ‘_but what if we’re both Alphas, or both Omegas, what then _’ maybe Hongseok would have actually considered it. Maybe it wouldn’t feel so impossible.

But instead they are here, inhabiting the same space like strangers for the first time in their lives.

*~*~*~*~*~*

A week later Changgu comes down with a fever. He’s so weak he can’t even get out of bed. He doesn’t move when Hongseok leaves and he’s still there when he comes back from the gym. 

His scent is so strong Changgu feels like he’s choking on it. He groans and buries his face in his pillow. He’s half in and half out of his blanket, shivering but sweating. He just wants to sleep.

His mattress dips.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Hongseok’s voice is too gentle. It sets Changgu’s teeth on edge. He curls in on himself, turns completely on his side and faces the wall.

“I’m fine. Just let me sleep.” 

Changgu takes a breath. Hongseok is still there. He counts to ten in his head. Hongseok is still there.

He finally makes the monumental effort to turn his body toward him.

“Please just go away. Please. Your scent is — so much. Right now.”

Hongseok meets his eyes and gives him a sheepish grin. Changgu is definitely having a fever dream. After months of nothing, Hongseok can’t _ actually _ be sitting here like this.

He puts his palm on Changgu’s forehead and frowns. 

“Fine. Give me ten minutes, okay?”

Hongseok runs his hand through his sweaty hair and leaves. Changgu can’t help the way he curls toward the empty space, taking little sniffs at the air to hold onto Hongseok’s scent even as it makes him dizzy.

He dozes off and when he wakes up Hongseok is turned away from him, toweling his hair. He’s only wearing basketball shorts. His shoulders are freckled with drops of water. The urge to lick them off his skin is almost impossible to ignore. The fever is making him feel so out of it.

Hongseok turns around and when he sees Changgu is awake he tosses the towel to the floor and makes his way over to his bed. He doesn’t just sit on the edge this time. He opens the blankets, makes his way under them like they’re kids again and having a sleepover.

It makes Changgu unbelievably angry.

“What the _ fuck _ are you —”

Hongseok shoves him until he’s against the wall, back to the cool surface and suddenly he’s freezing again. 

“Let me in. Let me make you feel better.”

It sounds so easy when he says it like that. For a second Changgu can pretend Hongseok is using his Alpha Voice, that he has no choice but to listen. Except he’s pretty sure Alphas can’t do that to each other. 

“No, you don’t get to just —” Changgu starts, but the anger makes him hot, adds to the heat from the fever and his eyes flutter as he struggles to stay focused.

Hongseok’s arms wrap around him, gentle but strong, the softest vice. He traces patterns into Changgu’s back over his sweat damp shirt. He’s holding him so carefully but so tightly, like he doesn’t want to let go. Like Changgu is important to him, like everything he’s done since Changgu presented has been one long, bad dream.

“Rest, Changgu. Get some sleep.”

It’s the fever that makes him move closer, makes him bury his face in Hongseok’s neck. He takes a breath and his teeth chatter as he exhales. He should really finish his thought. It needs to be said out loud.

_ You don’t get to do this to me again_.

He knows Hongseok will stop as soon as he’s better. Just like his rut. And they will go back to whatever it is they are now, barely friends, almost strangers. It will hurt more this time because Changgu knows it’s coming. And yet he relaxes against Hongseok anyway, falls into the familiar comfort of him like a bad habit.

He noses Hongseok’s neck, sighs at the feeling of cooler skin against his burning body. Alphas naturally run hotter, and if Changgu were more aware he’d wonder how Hongseok is even under the blankets with him, fever hot and Alpha hot and they could probably set something on fire.

He falls asleep to Hongseok tracing words on his back. He pretends to feel the curves and lines that spell out ‘_I’m sorry _ ’, or since it’s all a fantasy anyway, maybe ‘_I love you._’

*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s two days before his fever breaks and another two before Changgu truly feels like he’s better. He takes a ridiculously long shower and strips the sheets off his bed, walks to the laundromat and spends a few hours getting everything clean, washing away the last dregs of sickness still clinging on. 

All in all it’s a quiet afternoon. Most of the boys in the house are enjoying the last few days before classes start again, out by the pool or out at the bars that open in the afternoon, catering to the university crowd. Hongseok, too, is gone. Changgu isn’t surprised, and the ache isn’t as bad as he imagined it would be. Maybe Changgu has finally adapted.

He spends the rest of the afternoon on his laptop, and by the time he looks up again the room is dark. He doesn’t bother turning on the light, just slips under his clean sheets and puts on a drama for background noise.

He wakes up when the door slams, jolting awake with that distinct feeling after taking a nap, like he wasn’t supposed to be asleep and woke up in some other reality.

Hongseok curses low under his breath. Changgu is sitting up, the light from his laptop screen the only thing illuminating the room. They lock eyes and Hongseok’s shoulders slump.

He looks lost, Changgu thinks. He looks...lonely.

Hongseok steps further into the room and trips over his feet. He’s really drunk. If things were different Changgu would get up and help him to bed, but he kind of wants to see what Hongseok will do.

He comes right to Changgu’s bed and slips under the covers. He makes space for him without protest this time. Hongseok hasn’t looked at him like this, drunk or sober, since before his birthday. 

Hongseok is the one who comes closer, buries his face in Changgu’s chest, his nose cold against his skin. Changgu wraps his arms around him automatically and Hongseok breathes out hot and shaky as soon as his hands make contact with his back.

“What is it?” Changgu asks, words lilting out in a tease. “Some pretty Omega reject you?”

Hongseok shakes his head and tangles their legs together. He breathes in and out slowly. It’s almost like he’s trying not to get sick.

“Just drank too much?” Changgu tries. The answer is the same, a slow, exaggerated head shake.

Hongseok presses his lips to Changgu’s neck and time stops, every muscle in his body freezing. He wants to push Hongseok away, get mad, _ what are you doing _with ice in his voice. He wants to tilt Hongseok’s chin up and kiss him, lick the taste of soju out of his mouth.

“Can I stay here?” Hongseok says, his voice small and delicate between them. 

His nose traces a line up Changgu’s neck until it’s pressed just below his jaw. Hongseok’s breath burns him like fire. This is what it’s like to meet a dragon, Changgu thinks absently, to face the flame head on.

“I want to stay. I need to fix this,” Hongseok continues. “It’s all messed up, Changgu. I miss you. So much. I lo—”

Changgu has to cover Hongseok’s mouth with his hand. He can’t — 

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say it right now. Please —”

Hongseok pulls back enough to meet Changgu’s eyes and he can see it there, like Hongseok will explode if he doesn’t get it out. 

Changgu keeps his hand on Hongseok’s mouth. He’s afraid the words will rush out if he doesn’t.

“I want you to remember. I don’t want you to take it back.”

Hongseok’s eyes trace over his face like he’s looking at something beautiful. It’s too soon after his sickness. Changgu feels dizzy from it. Hongseok presses a kiss to his palm and he gasps out loud. 

It feels a little like Hongseok is stabbing him again, shards of glass going deep, deep, all the way into his organs, his most vital parts open and raw and bleeding.

He takes his hand off Hongseok’s mouth. His palm is tingling. Hongseok’s eyes look a little less hazy, but Changgu knows. Even if he remembers this he’ll pretend he doesn’t. Hongseok is, if nothing else, predictable. 

Alpha and Omega. The only way that they can exist is friends, now. And for Hongseok, the rules for Alpha friends are not the same rules that Changgu has known his entire life.

Hongseok will salvage his worthless Alpha pride, and Changgu will have another wound to heal. And this is how it will be.

Hongseok rolls onto his back and moves so close that Changgu has no choice but to wrap around him, chest pressed into his side. 

“Missed you,” Hongseok mumbles before his breathing goes deep and even. 

Changgu’s breath shakes out. His laptop has finally run out of battery, and it’s the darkness and definitely not Hongseok’s scent that lulls him to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s two weeks into the semester when they have their first house party. It’s packed. Every member is in attendance, tons of acquaintances, Betas and Omegas, some girls from their affiliated sorority. There’s barely enough room for everyone. The front and back door are wide open and the party extends to all corners of the yard around the house. 

Changgu is on his third drink, sitting on the floor and watching the crowd of people. Yanan is next to him. He’s had a lot more drinks than Changgu but he’s not even tipsy. He’s always had a high tolerance. 

“I’m jealous that you can drink so well,” Changgu says. His face is warm. He can feel it, figures it’s probably visible even in the dim lighting around them.

Yanan grins and shakes his head.

“Some Alphas put on muscle easily, and some Alphas have a crazy fast metabolism. I’m sure you can see what I ended up with.”

Changgu laughs and rests his weight on his hand. He leans in a little closer. 

“That’s not true. You have a great body,” Changgu says, the words out before he has time to think about how they sound. 

Yanan’s eyes go warm and dark and Changgu decides that maybe the words sound pretty good, actually.

Hongseok is a barely healed gash in his chest, but he refuses to act like some pining love sick fool forever. He’s good looking. He’s an Alpha. He can be with anyone he wants.

“You’re being forward today,” Yanan says, smirking. “Decide you’re ready to give it a shot?”

Yanan leans in, just a little, and suddenly the air is hot, electric.

Yanan is all dark hair and dark eyes and his scent is warm and clean with this unmistakable undertone of Alpha, wood and leather, and Changgu licks his lips and gives the barest nod.

“No strings, promise?” Changgu breathes out.

Yanan’s eyes are half lidded. He glances at Changgu’s lips before giving a nod of his own.

“Just to try. Promise.”

Changgu closes the distance. Yanan’s lips are warm and dry against his. He makes a small noise in the back of his throat, turns his body and angles toward him. Yanan’s hand is in the back of his hair and everything feels so incredibly _ good _. His scent wraps around him like a blanket and he licks across Yanan’s bottom lip, slips his tongue inside and tastes sweet alcohol. 

Changgu loses track of how long they spend kissing. Long enough that when they finally break apart he’s half hard, panting, his whole body tingling. Yanan can probably smell his arousal, he thinks, and it races through him. It’s thrilling. Yanan is an Alpha but he’s not overly aggressive. He gives and takes and this is maybe the most normal Changgu has felt in months. 

Yanan’s hand is on his thigh, resting, gentle. 

“What now?” he asks. 

What now. Changgu doesn’t know. Kissing Yanan is nice, feels a lot like sinking into a warm bath after being outside in the cold. They could go upstairs. He could lock the door, lay face to face with Yanan and see where the night takes them. 

It’s tempting, so tempting.

“I’m sorry,” Changgu rushes out. 

Yanan is quick to shush him, shake his head and rub his hand soothingly over Changgu’s thigh.

“Don’t apologize. It can be hard, at first. My parents are very traditional. When I kissed an Alpha the first time I felt sick, like I was doing something really wrong.” Yanan looks down at the floor, looks back up with soft openness. “It takes time. We’re all people. Alpha, Beta, Omega. It doesn’t matter.”

Changgu wants to tell Yanan he’s got it all wrong. It’s not Changgu that’s hung up on the Alpha thing. There’s just a particular Alpha he can’t get out of his head. Instead he just sighs.

“I liked it, though. Promise,” Changgu says, giving Yanan a half smile. 

Yanan looks at him for a long time, like he’s peeling back the layers of Changgu’s skin so he can see right into his soul. 

After a while, he smirks. 

“It’s not so bad with an Alpha, right?”

Yanan gives him one more kiss, quick but thorough, before he stands up.

“I’m gonna go find some more soju and maybe check in on that Alpha I was telling you about.” 

Yanan sets off for the kitchen and Changgu is left on the floor, lips warm and wet and his mind blissfully empty.

He stays there for a few more minutes before he decides he’s had enough fun for the night. He dodges the endless groups of people and heads up the stairs to his room.

Just as he reaches for the door, it flies open, and suddenly Hongseok and Changgu are face to face, barely any space between them. 

Hongseok opens his mouth to say something, but snaps it shut, nostrils flaring. Something not unlike fear zips down Changgu’s spine. Hongseok grabs his wrist and yanks him into their room, shuts the door and presses him against it. 

“You — you _ smell like _ —” Hongseok can’t even get the words out. His hands are on Changgu’s shoulders. He’s shaking, and Changgu isn’t sure if it’s from anger or something he can’t bear to name.

Changgu puts his hands on Hongseok’s chest and shoves. Hongseok stumbles back, and if he wasn’t angry before, he sure is now.

“_You_,” Changgu starts, voice icy, “can’t say shit to me. I can be with anyone I want.”

Hongseok strides closer again, puts his hand next to Changgu’s head and leans in. There is some emotion in his eyes Changgu can’t place. It all swirls together in the black of his pupils.

“No. No, you —” Hongsok’s fist slams into the door and Changgu has to fight not to flinch. “Be with any Beta or Omega you want. You smell like an _ Alpha_. You _ can’t _ —”

Changgu grits his teeth and growls, hands coming up to grip Hongseok’s shirt.

“What right do you have, hm? To tell me that. _ Who are you to me, Yang Hongseok_?”

The anger cracks. Hongseok looks at him and it’s so much like the boy who crawled into his bed drunk that Changgu almost cracks, too.

“You’re — you’re —”

Changgu lets go of his shirt and sighs. He sinks to the floor and presses his knees into his chest.

“I can’t keep doing this. I can’t,” Changgu says. His chest is tight, underwater breathing. “I’ve been in love with you since I was nine years old. I’ve never cared about what you’d be. Alpha, Beta, Omega. I don’t care now.” His eyes blur over with unshed tears and he takes a deep breath. “It’s always been you. Do you understand? I just want you.”

He wraps his arms around his knees and hides his face. Breathe in, breathe out. He can’t cry now. He’s got to be strong, just a little longer.

He can hear Hongseok sink down to the floor, knees hitting the wood loud enough that it probably hurt. He takes two more deep breaths before he looks up and says the rest. 

“You are more important to me than whatever it means to be an Alpha. Either you feel the same or you don’t.”

The ultimatum doesn’t make him feel better, if anything it makes him feel worse. He doesn’t want to force Hongseok to give him an answer, but this cycle is tiring. It’s not good for either of them.

Changgu stares at a rip in his jeans and the silence stretches between them until it drowns out every thought in his mind. 

It feels like hours, but is more like minutes. Hongseok adjusts, sits cross-legged in front of him. He reaches out, tentative and oh so careful. His hand rests on top of Changgu’s and when he glances up Hongseok is staring at their hands, lip between his teeth.

“You know me better than anyone. I’m not...good...at this,” Hongseok says. He glances at Changgu’s face and back down to their hands. His thumb rubs absently, a habit. “It’s hard. To even think about it. Being an Alpha has been a big part of who I am for a long time.”

Changgu knows. He remembers how as a teenager Hongseok would puff out his chest and proclaim it to anyone in ear shot. 

“But _ you _ —” Hongseok takes a breath and intertwines their fingers. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I hate it. So much.” He laughs, a soft but bitter sound. “But you know I’m selfish.”

Hongseok squeezes his hand and Changgu feels his heart stop and restart, as distinct as if he’d been shocked back to life.

“I want to. Be with you. I’ve always wanted it.” Hongseok meets his eyes, keeps them there. “Maybe being an Alpha doesn’t mean I can’t _ be _ with an Alpha.”

The tears come again, fast and free flowing but Changgu laughs, feels light as air, lighter than he’s felt in his entire life. He pulls Hongseok forward by their linked hands and crashes their lips together. 

He’s still crying and it’s just a press of lips and it’s probably the worst kiss Hongseok has ever had, who kisses someone when they’re _ crying _, but when he pulls back Hongseok’s ears are red.

“You’re the most brainless person I know,” Changgu says, grinning as he blinks through tears, “You could have said this shit months ago.”

Hongseok rolls his eyes and Changgu wipes his face with his free hand.

“But you’re right. I do know you, and I know you’ll probably do something just as brainless again. I just want you to try. I’ll deal with the rest.”

Hongseok reaches across the space between them and traces the wet skin under his eye. He’s giving Changgu that look again, like he’s looking at something beautiful, precious, irreplaceable.

“When I broke my arm. That’s when I knew I was in love with you,” Hongseok says, and Changgu can’t stop laughing. Hongseok frowns at him, pushes at his shoulder.

Changgu leans closer, stares into Hongseok’s eyes with no space at all between them.

Of course. Of course they would be the same, even in this.

“I love you,” Changgu says. The words are out, naked and open and real for the first time.

Hongseok gives him a small smile, just for the two of them.

“I love you, too.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

The semester speeds and drags at the same time. Soon it’s September, and Changgu feels better than he has all year. In the confines of their room they’ve rearranged, pushed their single beds together, dressers on the far wall, desks in the corner. If anyone were to come in they would know, no doubt, what is happening between them. Changgu lives for the moments they shut their door, for Hongseok wrapping an arm around him in his sleep, thoughtless but yearning, seeking. 

It’s their life outside that takes the most adjustment. Changgu is as patient as he can be, lets Hongseok look around before slipping an arm around his shoulders when they’re walking to class, lets him lace their fingers together under the table, out of sight, in the coffee shop on campus. He even lets Hongseok reach for him in the house, fingers faltering in the air before going back to his side.

It happens often enough that by this point in the semester Wonwoo, curled up on the couch studying for his first big exam, lets out a long-suffering sigh and hurls his lit book at Hongseok’s head.

“What was _ that _ for?” Hongseok yelps. He’s spared from actually getting hit, but the book lands on the floor with a harsh enough sound that Changgu imagines it would have hurt if it reached him.

Wonwoo presses his fingers into his temples.

“You are the most insufferable Alpha I have ever met.” He takes off his glasses and scrubs at his eyes before glaring in his direction. “You realize we all know about you two, right? Nobody _ cares_. This isn’t the Middle Ages, _ god_, stop acting like you’re committing a _ crime_.”

Changgu bursts into laughter. He can’t stop, falls forward and hugs his knees and laughs until tears come out of his eyes. Hongseok mumbles, some half-hearted attempt to still sound like a Big Bad Alpha. Changgu is definitely getting Wonwoo a Christmas present for this. 

He slips his glasses back on and holds out his hand, so Changgu picks up the book and tosses it underhanded back to him. Hongseok looks between the two of them for a while, ears red and mouth a thin line, before he finally gives in, scoots closer and puts his hand on Changgu’s knee.

Wonwoo doesn’t make any indication that he’s noticed or that he cares, but Changgu convinces himself there’s a small, catlike smile playing at the corner of his lips.

*~*~*~*~*~*

There’s a party on downstairs, the music loud enough that bass reverberates through their floor. Changgu can feel it where he’s pressed into the mattress, Hongseok draped over him. They’ve been kissing for what feels like hours, the buzz from the few drinks he had downstairs settling into a mellow thing. They were at the party long enough to be socially acceptable. Then it was a quick walk back up to their room, Hongseok wrapping his hands around Changgu’s hips with a smug smirk, falling back against the door and pressing their lips together. 

Hongseok tastes like cherry soju and Changgu’s hands wander under the hem of his shirt. His skin is on fire. Both of them are burning up under the sheet, top blankets kicked to the foot of the bed. Their tongues meet in the middle and Changgu melts, fingers trailing up along the knobs of his spine.

They haven’t actually done anything since Changgu’s rut. There’s a nervousness fluttering around his stomach. It feels much more real this time, like it actually means something.

Hongseok’s fingers dip under the waistband of his jeans and Changgu has to break the kiss to groan, hips canting up reflexively.

“I can —” Changgu starts, takes his hand off Hongseok’s back to cup his cheek. “I can do it this time. I don’t mind.” He smirks. “Wanna know what all the fuss is about with Yang Hongseok’s knot anyway.”

“_No_,” Hongseok rushes out, eyes wide and it’s like the world is freeze frame. “I can — I —”

Changgu is a man, and more than that, he’s an Alpha. Pride grows out of his chest like vines and he can’t keep the grin off his face. He tugs Hongseok off of him so they’re face to face on the bed.

“_Oh_? Was it that good?” Hongseok shoves his shoulder and he grins wider. “You liked getting knotted?” Hongseok’s ears are red enough that Changgu can see it even in the dim light that filters in through their window.

He slots his leg between Hongseok’s thighs and pulls him closer, bodies tight together.

“How much did you think about it, after?” he asks, and underneath the desire there is something raw and tender and still healing. 

They’ve only talked about everything in snippets, small questions and answers exchanged in the dark. Changgu hasn’t been able to find all the words yet, but the hunger for knowledge is always there.

_ Did you hate me? Did you want me? Did you still love me when my blood was on your knuckles? _

“Tried not to, at first,” Hongseok admits, gasping as Changgu’s thigh presses against his erection. “But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Your —”

Changgu slams their lips together, rolls on top of Hongseok and grinds down, drinks in Hongseok’s moan and moves against him in a slow rhythm. He’s been turned on since they snuck up the stairs, and the idea that Hongseok thought about the two of them together pushes every button inside of him.

Hongseok tugs at his shirt, finally gets his fingers working enough to unbutton it properly. Changgu breaks the kiss and pulls it all the way off, gets Hongseok up enough to do the same. And then it’s hot skin on hot skin, wandering hands and Hongseok sucking a mark under his jaw. He wants to stay in bed like this for the rest of the weekend, tangled up with Hongseok, making up for lost time. 

Days and weeks and years, if he could. But they’ve got time, now.

Changgu slips his hand between them and rubs Hongseok over his jeans. Hongseok’s hands are on his ass, squeezing even as his hips rock up into the friction. Neither of them are in rut this time. If Hongseok thinks he’s going to rush through any part of this, no matter how hard he is, he’s got another thing coming.

Changgu grips the outline of his cock and strokes him as much as he can through the fabric. Hongseok hisses, swears under his breath and buries his face in Changgu’s neck, panting hot against his skin.

Hongseok’s hands wander up to his waist, dig in tight enough that he’ll definitely have finger shaped bruises. Hongseok sets his teeth into the juncture of his neck and shoulder and Changgu groans, hips rolling down automatically. Hongseok’s mouth trails higher along his jaw until they’re kissing again, filthy and urgent. Hongseok’s tongue slides into his mouth and for a moment Changgu is lost in it. Being with Hongseok is every bit like two puzzle pieces fitting together. 

When they break apart Changgu leans over and pulls a bottle of lube from between the mattresses, tucked in the space where they’ve pushed the beds together. Hongseok looks at the bottle then at the bed then back at him in quick succession.

“When did you put that there?” He asks, a little hoarse.

Changgu grins. “A few days ago. Wanted to be ready for this.”

Hongseok rolls his eyes but makes space for Changgu to settle between his legs.

“Don’t act so cocky,” Hongseok says, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them down his legs. 

Changgu’s grin morphs into a smirk. He hooks two fingers into the waistband of Hongseok’s underwear. “You’re the one begging to get knotted. It’s not cocky if it’s true.”

Hongseok brings his heel down on Changgu’s leg once he’s naked. “Fuck you. You didn’t know about that until just now.”

Changgu grips Hongseok’s thighs and slides his hands up, up, settling them on his hip bones. Hongseok’s cock is hard, twitching from Changgu’s hands on his skin. 

“But you want it.” Changgu bites his lip, stares at his cock and drags his eyes up Hongseok’s body, savors every inch of exposed skin. When he gets to his face Hongseok is flushed, eyes dark. “You want me.” He grabs Hongseok’s cock and strokes him, smirks when Hongseok hisses and bucks up. “Wanna get knotted by me.”

Hongseok groans as Changgu starts working his hand over his cock. He opens the lube and takes his hand off Hongseok long enough to slick up his fingers. He strokes lightly up the shaft and presses his fingers against Hongseok’s rim. 

“Wanna hear you say it,” Changgu says. He presses the tip of his finger inside and Hongseok bites his lip and shuts his eyes as his body shudders.

Changgu stills his hand. It takes Hongseok a few moments to open his eyes. 

He huffs. Changgu smirks. It’s a stalemate.

The silence is charged. Changgu is so hard it almost hurts, but he wants Hongseok’s words more. 

Hongseok rolls his hips into Changgu’s hand with a desperate sound. Changgu pulls his finger out and the whine Hongseok lets out short circuits his brain.

“Fine.” Hongseok huffs again. His eyes make it as high as Changgu’s collarbone. “I want you to knot me. Can you get on with it now?”

It’s half-hearted, but Changgu feels like he’s been set on fire. He takes a shaky breath and presses his finger all the way in. Hongseok’s eyes flutter and when Changgu starts working his hand over his cock he groans. He concentrates all his efforts on making Hongseok feel good, single minded with it. 

Changgu’s had a lot of time to think about it, how many times Hongseok has let someone fuck him. Enough to count on one hand, probably. Maybe less. He wants to erase anyone else, replace every time with just him and it’s not just the Alpha part of him that feels this way. He presses up, crooks his finger and drags his palm across the head of his cock. Hongseok throws an arm over his face and this time Changgu reaches up and pulls it away, links their fingers together.

Hongseok groans and rolls his hips into his hand and Changgu bites his lip as he slides in with two. Hongseok’s chest is starting to flush. He looks unbelievably sexy. Changgu squeezes their linked fingers and leans down to lick the underside of his cock. Hongseok gasps and bucks up toward his mouth. Changgu untangles their hands and squeezes Hongseok’s hip.

“Stay still or I’ll bite,” he murmurs, eyes slitted as he looks up at Hongseok. 

Hongseok nods and Changgu is hit by his scent, arousal and pheromones pouring out of him. It feels like he’s not breathing air anymore for what good each breath does him. Changgu licks his lips and takes Hongseok in his mouth, sinks down until the tip is just touching the back of his throat. A promise instead of a threat. He glances up again, half-lidded and Hongseok is half way to wrecked. Changgu curls his fingers inside of him and he’s rewarded with a punched out moan. 

He works Hongseok up as long as he can like this, mouth and tongue and fingers, until Hongseok’s fingers slide into his hair and grip tight.

“Gonna come,” he grits out, and Changgu takes him down his throat one last time before slipping his cock out of his mouth. He keeps his fingers inside, careful not to move until Hongseok’s hand leaves his hair to stroke the side of his neck. He works a third finger in when Hongseok relaxes against the bed and he gasps, grits his teeth and bites back a desperate sound. Changgu smirks.

“Want you ready for it,” he says, twisting his fingers with an obscene sound. Hongseok’s face flushes. “I won’t let you come yet.”

Hongseok’s hands twist in the sheets, knuckles white as Changgu works his fingers faster, deeper. “Not really up to you. I’m —”

Changgu pulls his fingers out and wipes them on his jeans. Hongseok is already more prepped than the first time. He’s overthinking now that his mind isn’t clouded with hormones and the need to get off. He takes a breath, slides off the bed and kicks his jeans and underwear to the floor. Just as he turns to crawl back on the bed Hongseok stops him with a foot on his thigh.

“Let me see you first,” he breathes. 

Changgu feels his face go a little hot, but he stands there and lets Hongseok take him in. He knows he’s pretty good looking. It’s half work and half Alpha hormones that make him lean, give him muscle definition even when he slacks off. Hongseok’s eyes wander until they land on his dick, hard and flushed and heavy between his legs. He stares long enough that Changgu rolls his eyes and huffs.

“You’re gonna give me a big ego if you don’t stop. Can we fuck or are you just gonna imagine getting knotted instead?”

Hongseok’s eyes snap up to his and he kicks his thigh before letting Changgu back on the bed. 

“You’re never gonna shut up about this are you.”

Statement. Not question. They really know each other too well.

Changgu slicks up his cock and as he lines himself up he leans down to kiss Hongseok. It’s a moment where Changgu can feel the importance. Not life-changing, exactly, but the air around them feels weighted. 

“Never,” Changgu answers when they break apart, and he pushes in slowly.

Hongseok’s eyes never leave his. It’s intense, the tight heat around him, the weight of Hongseok’s gaze, the words they don’t have to speak in the space between their bodies.

It feels like a lifetime before he finally bottoms out, and then it’s just them, the bass from downstairs long since faded to white noise around them, everything narrowed down to their breathing. Hongseok relaxes against him in stages, and Changgu lines the side of his neck with sloppy kisses to distract him. He nips at his pulse point, a graze of teeth and Hongseok’s nails dig into his back. 

“You can move,” Hongseok pants out. Changgu shakes his head, still buried in his neck. Hongseok shakes his shoulder and he looks up, meets his eyes and Hongseok doesn’t realize that it’s Changgu that needs a moment. He feels like he’s floating miles from shore, no land in sight. 

“Just —” Changgu starts, groaning as Hongseok tightens around him. “Give me a second.”

Hongseok lets out a pleased hum.

“Am I really too much for you?”

Changgu looks up and rolls his eyes.

“You wish, man.”

The bickering is its own kind of foreplay. It’s dizzying how even now, everything is a challenge. Only now Changgu can take it anywhere, one up Hongseok with actions that are much more pleasurable. Changgu pulls out and pushes back in, one smooth motion, and Hongseok’s nails dig into his shoulder. He hears Hongseok take a breath, probably ready to make a smartass remark, but he doesn’t give him the chance. He fucks into him, slow but deep, drags across Hongeok’s prostate with every thrust. Hongseok wraps a leg around him and fucks him right back, works his hips until they’re both feeling it. 

“You really —” Changgu pants, gripping the sheets next to Hongseok’s head. “_Fuck, _ you’re so —”

Hongseok lets out a small sound. “You too.”

He refuses to feed Hongseok’s ego by actually saying _ you’re so good at this_. He is, though. Changgu can’t imagine what it will be like to get fucked by him for real. They’ll be fighting over it, begging for each other’s knots like Omegas in heat and _ oh god_, he can feel himself get harder at the thought. Hongseok groans 

“God, are you close?”

Changgu fucks into him faster.

“Why? Wanna come from my knot already, baby? You want it that bad?” Changgu murmurs into his ear, lips grazing the warm skin with each word. 

Hongseok loops his arms around his neck and crashes their lips together, slides his tongue inside Changgu’s mouth and fucks him back like that, roaming his mouth in time with Changgu’s thrusts. It’s so much. Changgu wasn’t so close before but he is now, orgasm simmering under his navel, body hot with the need to let go.

He bites it back, concentrates instead on Hongseok underneath him, body slick and flushed. He snakes a hand between them and strokes his cock. Hongseok bucks up, rolling his hips almost frantically.

Changgu grins down at him. 

“Now who’s close,” he pants out. 

Hongseok’s hands are at his hips now, gripping, urging him faster.

He lets out a quiet _ please _ and Changgu is gone, lets go of Hongseok’s cock to concentrate on slamming into him, so hard that he jolts Hongseok up the bed. He wants Hongseok to come, and he can feel his knot starting to form. Hongseok can feel it too, he can tell from the way his eyes go wide and his lip stays trapped between his teeth, digging in until Changgu is sure he’s bleeding from it.

“Ready, baby?” Changgu growls out, slamming into Hongseok again. 

Hongseok shudders and does his best to nod. Changgu’s hips stutter and he slams in once, again, then he’s coming, knot swelling as he spills inside him.

“Fuck, oh fuck —,” Hongseok gasps out. “Your knot —”

Changgu has enough sense to take Hongseok’s cock in his hand. He rides out every drop of his orgasm, and it’s when he can’t move anymore, knot taking up all the space inside him, that Hongseok’s back arches off the bed and he comes, streaking his chest and stomach with white.

It’s so hot. Changgu already knows he’s ruined forever. Nothing, not porn, not an Omega in heat, will ever be as good as Hongseok beneath him like this.

He leans down and kisses him and Changgu’s heart squeezes tight. 

“I love you,” he says when they break apart, “God, I love you. I love you —”

“You don’t have to keep saying it. It’s embarrassing,” Hongseok whines, cutting him off. 

Changgu flicks him gently on the forehead.

“Fuck you. I’ve wanted to do this for years.” He leans down and rubs their noses together, tries to be extra sickeningly cute with it just to make Hongseok uncomfortable. “I’ll say it whenever I want. As much as I want.”

Hongseok’s ears are bright red and he huffs like he’s annoyed, but Changgu knows that a lot of it is for show, defenses and Alpha posturing built up over the years. It’s hard to unlearn, harder to wear down, but Hongseok is here with him, and that’s all he can ask for. 

It takes a while before his knot goes down enough to slide out, and Hongseok groans when he does. He lays down next to him and the music under them is soothing, the pulse of the bass lulling them into contented silence.

Changgu takes Hongseok’s hand and traces each finger with his own. There are things he wants to say, and the comfortable post-sex haze seems like a good enough time.

“You’ve been fucking around since you presented,” he says softly. He’s staring at their fingers. He can’t say this and look Hongseok in the face. He really won’t be able to get the words out. “I always thought, deep down, maybe you didn’t mean it. Maybe you didn’t want...me.”

Hongseok takes a breath. He’s quiet for so long that Changgu has to look up. His eyes are searching, pleading for something but Changgu doesn’t even know what he’s asking for.

“I just,” he sighs, looks down and back up and starts again. “I wanted to make sure I could...take care of you. God, it sounds a lot better in my head.”

It’s the most weirdly romantic thing Hongseok has ever said. It doesn’t make sense to him, but he can see how Hongseok came to that conclusion. Practicing on other people to make sure he was perfect when Changgu presented, that he was ready. Brainless, but sweet. 

Changgu huffs, half feigns annoyance but the other half is real.

“So the Omega threesome? That was for me, too?”

Hongseok has the decency to look embarrassed. He bites his lip and looks down at their hands.

“That one was for me, yeah. I was just trying to, I don’t know, I had to get you out of my head.” He sighs and looks up, and there’s that searching look again. “You have no idea what it was like for me.”

The anger is like a crutch. It flows through Changgu so fast he almost chokes on it. It would be so easy to act on it, to shove Hongseok out of the bed and shout fuck you, throw on some sweats and hide out in someone’s room for a while.

Hongseok’s eyes go wide. “I didn’t mean —”

Changgu takes a breath. Then another. He lets Hongseok see all of this, the knee jerk anger that he’s trying to tamp down. Maybe it’ll sink in eventually, that Changgu has always known they were inevitable, that the few times he’s slept with anyone else have been met with a weird, slimy feeling all over his skin.

Anger is easy, but if they don’t talk then this won’t work.

“No, I guess I don’t know what it was like for you. You haven’t really told me.” Hongseok makes a face and Changgu squeezes his hand. “I’m not trying to rush you. I just mean...I only know how I felt about the whole thing.” He presses a kiss to Hongseok’s cheek, his nose, his lips. “Someday, right? You’ll tell me all of it?”

Hongseok looks down at their hands for a handful of breaths. His thumb rubs absently at Changgu’s hand. When he looks up there’s an almost determined glint in his eye.

He squeezes their hands. “I promise.”

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s after midterms before the topic finally comes up. They’re both half asleep and the words slip out before Changgu can take them back.

“I want to mark you.”

He can see the record scratch on Hongseok’s face. He’s probably never thought about it the way Changgu has. As soon as Hongseok presented Changgu started imagining it. Getting marked by Hongseok, the way he’d kiss the tender skin gently, _ so gently_, before he sunk his teeth in. It would probably hurt, he might even cry, but then he would be Hongseok’s and Hongseok would be his, forever. 

After he presented, it was like a secret whisper in his mind. Changgu, an Alpha, _ he _ can claim, can declare to the world that Hongseok is his. Possess him as much as a person can possess another. No Beta or Omega would even _ look _at Hongseok with an Alpha’s mark.

Hongseok’s eyes are wide. “Mark...me?”

Changgu, now much more awake, feels his face get hot.

“Not now. After university, maybe. I mean, I don’t care, I just want to be —”

The Hongseok of six months ago would have probably punched him and walked out. He didn’t mean to say it out loud, but Changgu has been considering the future. Who changes their last name, who marks who. It used to be easy, but Changgu is an Alpha too, and he kind of wants to act on the biological need to claim. 

Hongseok is his, and he wants a neat set of teeth marks to prove it.

Hongseok looks at him for a long time without speaking, long enough that Changgu grabs his hand, laces their fingers together to ease the butterflies in his stomach.

“But I want to. Mark you,” Hongseok finally says, his ears bright red. 

Changgu smirks. It’s too good to pass up.

“I think,” he starts, pulling Hongseok closer, pressing their hips together suggestively, “that if _ you’re _ the one taking my knot then _ you _ should be the one getting marked.”

Hongseok growls and sinks his teeth into Changgu’s neck. Not a claim, more like a promise.

“That’s a very outdated way of thinking,” he says against his skin.

Changgu scoffs.

“Oh please. Don’t try to make me feel bad because you can’t accept that you like getting knotted.”

“If that’s how you want to play this game Yeo Changgu, then next time _ I’ll _ knot _ you_, and then we’ll be even.”

Changgu’s smirk morphs into a grin. He rolls onto his back and pulls Hongseok on top of him. 

“So what, we’re keeping score now? That’s how we’re gonna decide?”

Hongseok’s eyes are pitch black and all Changgu wants to do is eat him alive.

“I’ve been an Alpha a lot longer. And I’m older. I think that means I get to do it.”

Changgu tugs him down and kisses him, changes the energy between them into a soft, slow thing. Hongseok makes a small noise but slowly relaxes against him. 

When they break apart Changgu noses his neck.

“Either way. I just want to be yours.” He meets Hongseok’s eyes. “We have a while to figure it out.”

_ (It’s a few days later, when Hongseok won’t drop the topic and their arguing echoes down the hall that Wonwoo bangs on their door hard enough to rattle it on its hinges and yells ‘please just shut up, my god, you know you can both mark each other, right?’) _

**Author's Note:**

> Please come yell about Honggu with me any time
> 
>   
[Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/woncheoling) // [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/tsukkitaeil)


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